


She's My Wife But You're My Life

by Elle0555



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-03-24 20:48:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3783859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elle0555/pseuds/Elle0555
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert and Aaron get closer<br/>Before it falls apart. For good???</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a small starter chapter.

AARON

Only i could fall in love with a married man. Well he wasn't married at the start but that's besides the point. Roberts not my usual type, yeah i like a bad boy. But not an attached bad boy. He's arrogance and disrespect for most people makes me sick. yet i still carry on seeing him behind his wife's back. Everyone warned me about him but did i listen? No. Now im stuck in love with someone who will never fully reciprocate my feelings and theirs not much i can do about it. 

The first kiss we shared was electrifying. He initiated it. He always does. Robert likes to be in control, Where i just like to be needed not that i would tell him that. I wouldn't tell anyone that. Every time he touches me its like my skin is on fire and i crave for the small touches and passionate kisses. I long for the romantic nights and early pillow talk. I want something he's never gonna be prepared to give me. And i still go back for more. I must be an idiot. A stupid in love idiot. 

I'm currently sitting at the bar waiting for Adam to show. Wondering what he wants to talk about so urgently. It's Sunday night and i just wanna get an early night ready for the work week ahead. But my best mate needs to vent, so ill be there for him like he has so many times for me. When i finally see him walk through the pub door i signal him to the bar where im propped up nursing my pint.

"Took ya time mate whats up?" He doesn't look happy. "Sorry mate me and Vic had another argument. just needed to get outta there for a bit." I just smile at him. "What ya done now adam?" The sigh he gives me confirms my suspicions. "I can't keep lying to her Aaron it's doing my head in. I gotta come clean." "Well no time like the present Mate." 

After what felt like hours talking Adam through everything I think he's gonna tell vic the truth. I hope they don't break up. I did get a text from Robert earlier he's probably pissed I didn't text him straight back. I was busy my life don't revolve around him as much as he'd want it too. He can be such a childish muppet at times. One of those times being now. Everything's on his terms. I can't be bothered with it tonight. 

I'm in the back room eating my sandwich and deciding whether I should go through and get another pint. I love that I live in a pub. Unlimited supply of booze. And my room just seconds away when I get too wasted. It's a great set up. 

ROBERT 

why does he never text me straight back. It annoys me more than it should. He's moody and he likes an argument. Aaron livesy is a constant distraction in my life. There's days when I feel like I'm cheating on him with my own wife. That's not right I know it's not but when I'm with him In our own little world nothing else matters. Up could be down and left could be right. Nothings important. all that is important is the stolen moments between us. The dangerous liaisons and sneaky hotel dates we have. I need him in my life. 

I'm sitting in my office bored out of my mind. And in need of a distraction I don't like having time on my hands. I don't like thinking too much. When I think I destruct. I need to keep busy. If Aaron would answer my text he could keep me busy. That dirty grease monkey. Everything lately comes down to him. He satisfies me in ways I never knew I needed satisfying. He confuses the hell out of me. but that never stops me it never will. Everything with Aaron is different. Amazing. I like spending my time with him. I like to watch him squirm underneath me and give himself completely to me. I love the effect i have on him. 

If i sit in the same spot much longer im gonna drive myself mad. Maybe i'll go to the pub. See if a certain someone is there. the more i see Aaron these days, the more feelings flood my head. I tried to stay away and out of his life. Cause face it im not good news. So everyone says, but he doesn't see me that way. He never has. We're like two forces drawn to each other. The harder one of us pulls away the harder the other push's back and we end up back where we started. I don't know if it will always be like this, I don't know what this even is. But i know i cant lose him. But i cant lose Chrissie either.

AARON

I decided to pour myself one last pint before i go up to bed. Walking back into the pub and grabbing a clean glass to fill i notice the hoards of regulars in there groups. I don't know why im even looking for its like im secretly searching for Robert. I'm in way to deep with him. After my accident i finally realized lying in that hospital bed with nothing to do but think. That he'd never leave Chrissie and if i didn't wanna lose him completely i'd take what i could get from him. A few hours here and there, A sneaky business trip for him and one night stand for me were the excuses we'd give. I would carry on being a bit on the side because i can't lose him. And so far it was pretty easy to get away. Until Donny turned up. He's shady Robert knows it, I know it. But its not my business. And the fact that Robert is so interested makes me only believe he's got something big to hide. Or that he secretly fancies him. 

When i finish pouring my pint and grab a packet of crisps i turn to say goodnight to my mum. She's not had it easy lately. Because of that mug of an ex boyfriend of hers. James, I wanna kill him for hurting her. I did attack him with a bottle and i would of gone further if it wasn't for Cain butting in. I saw Robert with Chrissie in the pub that night and that just riled me up even more. I saw the brief look he gave me. Like he wanted to help but couldn't. I wonder if he would of if Chrissie wasn't there. I say goodnight to my mum and head for the stairs, Taking my phone out of my pocket to see if I've missed any calls or texts.

ROBERT

I head for the door without a second thought. Only stopping to pick up my keys and phone. I know my destination. Even my GPS knows it well enough now. I didn't even give Chrissie a bull shit excuse this time. She doesn't even know im not still sat in the office. I'll make my excuses later. Her weirdo ex Donny keeps hanging around like a bad smell. It irritates the crap out of me, and to make matters worse Aaron thinks i fancy him. Where he could get an idea like that from is beyond me. I know im amazing and practically the best looking guy in the village besides Aaron, But I've got standards. And Donny definitely doesn't stand up to them.

Heading through the country lanes to the village my mind wonders back to Aaron's and my first kiss. As firsts kisses go that was the best one I've ever had. And i didn't hear him complain either. The tingling sensation when our skin touched. And the rawness of emotions as well as what followed later that night. I don't know what made me do it. we've got a connection that cant be broken. And chemistry that's undeniable. And he's constantly on my mind. I don't just want him anymore like i did at the start. I need him now. To function correctly or vent my anger. I don't wanna ever lose him. But i fear the day is coming. That's why i need to be with him as much as possible before my secret world comes crashing down around me and i'll be left to suffer in silence.


	2. Chapter 2

AARON

No new texts or calls on my phone. Robert's probably in a sulk. But i don't care, I'll reply to him when i feel like it. I'm lying flat out on my bed earphone in one ear listening to my favorite playlist. There is one downside to living in a pub. The noise that travels up to my room, especially when things kick off. i change the track and put the other earphone in my ear to silence the hustle from the pub. Turning over to face the wall closing my eyes and drifting off.

When i turn over to change position Robert gives me the shock of my life. I take my earphones out and vent my anger his way when i speak. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I wanna knock that smug smile off his face. "You wouldn't be much use to me then would you? why didn't you text back?" He looks disappointed. "I didn't know i had to reply to every text straight away Robert." "What are you doing here anyway?" I move to sit up and cross my legs on the bed. Making room for him to sit down instead of hovering around. "I was bored Aaron. I need a distraction." He sits down edging closer. "And im that distraction am i?" I move closer to him so our thighs are touching. "You know your more than that Aaron, but right now i want you." I wanna tease him and make him wait, but there's something about Robert Sugden that gets me every time. That perfect jaw and golden hair turns me on like nothing ever has. I grab hold of his jacket and push him back onto the bed. "Do you know how much i want you. How much i always want you." He's saying things that give me hope and i cant hear them so i pretend i didn't. I busy myself with removing his leather jacket and peppering kisses down his neck. I hear his moans as i reach for his shirt and unbutton it in record time. "The things you do to me Aaron." I feather kisses down his torso biting and sucking just soft enough to not leave a mark. Eventually reaching his crotch. Rubbing over the fabric. Which makes him squirm and buck his hips off the bed. "Aaron i need you now." I return to his lips and gain immediate entry as i pull my top over my head and unzip my jeans. When i come up for air i shuffle to undo his jeans and discard them in one swift movement. His eyes are full of lust and desperation. He's unraveling beneath me and its the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. As i straddle him i reach behind and grab his length moving my hand up and down in rapid speed. He groans and grabs one of the pillows to cover his face. "Aaron please your driving me crazy." I return to kissing him before moving down his body and lifting him up so his legs are balanced on my shoulders. Entering two and then three fingers to ready him. I then reach for a condom put it on and thrust into him, slow at first. Then gaining speed. Each thrust harder then the last. He's back arches of the bed. And he moves his hand down his length. The moans of pleasure tell me he's getting close. And when i pullout and thrust back in he cries out my name in satisfaction. Which takes me over the edge. Collapsing on top of him. Both breathless and spent.

ROBERT

I'm lying next to Aaron with a smile on my face that only he could put there. He's facing me and biting that lip of his. He knows it drives me crazy. "Stop biting your lip Aaron, unless you wanna go again." I'd happily go for round two. "It's getting late Robert." I hate this part of whatever this is. i don't know how to define what this is. But i hate it all the same, I wanna stay here with him and not have to rush back home. "Way to ruin the mood Aaron." He's looks saddened. I hate that i can please and hurt him within the space of minutes. "Not that i don't want you to stay but it's Sunday night she'll be wondering where you are." He's right Aaron is always right. "I should get going. Maybe we can meet up tomorrow? Away from the village." He's grinning again. "Sounds like a plan text me where and when." I give him a lingering kiss and get up to find my cloths. While Aaron lye's there watching me. When im fully dressed and my hair doesn't look like I've just had sex, i walk back over to him and sit on the bed. "I'll text you tomorrow then?" He leans into me and runs his hand up my cheek. Cupping my face. Kissing me goodbye. "Yeah i'll be at the scrapyard all day." I smile and kiss him back digging my nails into his waist before standing up to head for the door. only turning back to wink at him.

Sneaking down the stairs of the pub im praying no-one catches me. i open the door as quietly as i can and close it behind me. Walking over to my car and unlocking the door i climb into the drivers seat. On the drive home i start thinking of believable excuses that could of been too important to leave till the morning. Hopefully Chrissie doesn't even notice im gone. It's a bit far fetched to say it was work that dragged me away. I keep using that excuse. But so far it hasn't raised her suspicions. On a Sunday night though it could get her thinking. I also need to shower. I can smell Aaron lingering around me. Not that he wears aftershave a lot. I didn't think this through or this far ahead. My plan was to see Aaron. I cant tell her i slipped away to go see my secret lover for a quickie. I can never tell her that. Maybe this is all getting to complicated. I pull up at home and decide to go in through the office way. Just as i close the door and turn around she's sitting at my desk. I sigh quietly to myself and paint on a smile ready to face the back lash. Sometimes i do wonder if i can do anything without telling her about it. "Where have you been Robert" She doesn't sound as angry as i thought she would. But then again she doesn't seem that happy either. Time for another lie. Surely they should come natural to me by now. "I just went for a drive." Not a complete lie. pretty far from the truth though. Her face softens and i immediately know im off the hook. "Well tell me where your going next time." I stroll towards her and embrace her in a hug. "I'm sorry Chrissie i'll call next time."

AARON

What he said to me is on a repeated loop in my head. "Do you know how much i want you? How much i always want you?" What does that even mean. Its got so many hidden meanings. Maybe it was the heat of the moment. Maybe he thought i didn't hear him. Maybe it was just something to say. I know he's got feelings but getting him to admit them is like getting blood out of a stone. He's a closed book and chapter by chapter reveals very little at a time. I'm not the best at expressing myself but compared to Robert im the most open person i know. When he told me he loved me was it just to get me back? Everyday with him is something different. Its a challenge trying to work him out. One im not sure i wanna completely work out, or if i'll ever be prepared to work out. 

ROBERT

After showering and admiring myself in the mirror i head downstairs and pour myself a whiskey. Sitting in the kitchen and looking out the window. I stare until i lose focus on what i was looking at in the first place. I'm amazed at how quick my mood changes when i come home after seeing Aaron. I find myself constantly putting on an act these days when im around Chrissie. And the more time i spend with Aaron the more i feel things i know deep down i shouldn't be feeling. Everything i say to him is the truth. It might not be said at the right time or in the right context but it doesn't stop it being true. I struggle with my feelings for him, i know i have them i don't doubt that anymore. All i seem to be doubting is myself and how uncertain my future is becoming everyday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos :)


	3. Chapter 3

AARON

I hardly slept last night. Tossing and turning and all because of Robert. His words get to me and he doesn't even realize it. Its 7 in the morning. I actually beat my alarm waking me up. I stretch out in bed and then go to use the bathroom, I might as well get an early start at the scrapyard. I return to my room to get dressed before heading downstairs for breakfast. No-ones up yet and im glad for the peace and quiet. I make a grab for the kettle to fill it with water and put it back down switching it on. As im staring waiting for the kettle to boil steam slowly escaping, My mind wonders back to last night. I hope Robert sticks to his word today and we meet up like originally planned. If he lets me down again he'll never hear the last of it. I hate being let down by him. I hate that he can make me feel this way. Although lately things between us have seemed a little to calm. And i know it wont stay that way long. With us nothings simple or easy. I just wonder what the next hurdle will be. Because im certain there will be one. I make my coffee and go and sit at the table placing my phone down in front of me, taking small sips of the scorching drink. And debating with myself if i should have any breakfast. 

 

ROBERT

Turning over in bed i spot the stillness lying beside me. Chrissie really is a peaceful sleeper and she looks so angelic. I often get moaned at for kicking her in my sleep. I cant help it. I don't know if i kick Aaron. I did ask him once but he said i didn't. We never have much time for sleeping anyways. And when i am with him, sleep is the last thing either of us want. I get up and make my way downstairs not bothering to find a jumper to throw on. Strolling into the kitchen to make some coffee. I need my americano to start the day. I admit im a coffee snob. and i don't care. A traditional cup of coffee is not good enough for me. I take my coffee and make my way to the office sitting down in my chair and placing my drink on the desk. I open my laptop and check my emails. Nothing worthy of my attention. Not this early in the morning. I cant wait to see Aaron today. I'm not gonna let him down again. Last time it was Donny's fault, And since he's busy all day doing something dodgy no doubt. Which i'll make my mission to find out about soon enough. But i wont be finding out today. That sneaky twat is not ruining my plans again. I think i know why he gets to me, The way he acts around Chrissie winds me up no end. But im not sure that's the real reason his presence rattles me. He thinks he's better than me, and that makes me laugh. Because face it no-ones better than me. Although Aaron comes pretty close. 

AARON

When i arrive at the scrapyard its deserted. It's just after 8 but Adam's usually always the first here. If he told Vic the truth last night then i doubt i'll see him here today. I decide i'll give him a text later. Opening the office door i walk over to the desk which is piled high with paperwork. And half empty mugs of tea sitting on the side. Adam is a lazy git at times. I hate doing paperwork it's the downside to the job. But it won't do itself. Not that I'm gonna do it right now. 

A few hours later and adam is a no show. The muppets not even called to let me know he's not coming in. Sleeping with Vanessa was the stupidest thing he's done in ages. Not that I can talk. But he's better than me. I'm sleeping with his girlfriends brother. Couldn't get much worse than that. I've still not heard from Robert either. He better turn up. I would text him but I don't wanna look desperate. He's probably stalking donny or something. It's obvious Chrissies ex is lying and not just about the beating he recieved. He's clearly here for something other than his creepy son. Using that for an excuse is hard to prove wrong though. Why should I even care? If robert wants to waste his time with a twat like donny then he can. I think he's jealous of him if I'm honest. he doesn't like the fact that his wife's ex is in the village and her attention isn't solely on him. He's such an idiot at times. 

ROBERT

I bet Aaron thinks I'm standing him up again. I decided not to text or call him I'm just on my way to the scrapyard to see him now. He hasn't called me either though. Aaron can be stubborn at times. It frustrates me a little but I always see through him. I don't know what the plan is later on. But hopefully it includes a king size bed and a naked Aaron. I'd happily spend my afternoon that way. im sure he wouldn't oblige much either. Everytime I see him I just wanna Rip his cloths off and shove him against the nearest wall. I'm turning myself on just thinking about it. How he does that to me by just a simple though I'll never know. All I wanna do right now is grab him and disappear so it's just the two of us. Like at home farm when Chrissie was away. Those few days were amazing. Just him and me. No hiding away or sneaking around. I got a taste of what being with Aaron would feel like and it didn't completely freak me out in the way I was expecting. What freaked me out was the feelings going through my head. The Sadness if id wake up and he wasn't there or how happy it made me feel watching him do a simple task like making a drink. He looked content, until reality crashed down around us. Leading us back to secrecy.

As I pull up at the scrapyard I see Aaron standing there looking hot and bothered. He looks busy and the mini scowl on his face makes me believe he's not too happy. I get out of the car and when he spots my gorgeous face I grin at him. Striding over to him so we're mere inches apart. Before I open my mouth he speaks. "You alright?" He's a man of so many words. Not that it bothers me. i just came to see if he's still free today. "Yeah im good. You here on your own then?" He just smiles at me. God i love that smile. I wanna burn it into my imagination. "What does it look like? Whats up anyway?" He's kinda moody today as well. "Alright smart ass. Just came to see you, remember what i said last night? Or are you too busy?" If he lets me down that's a first. "I am really busy. Adam's a no show. Can you get away tonight?" He hobbles away from me and leans against a van ready to be scrapped. "I suppose i can Aaron. Might fake a business trip if your up for it?" He's biting his lip and trying to look anywhere but my eyes. "A night with just you Robert? As long as its nowhere too posh im in." I shove him against the van and grab hold of his waist lifting his chin lightly so he's looking at me. "Tonight then." Before i leave to make reservations for a hotel i place my hands on his face and stare into those amazing eyes of his. Before crashing our lips together. Holding back slightly to leave him wanting more.


	4. Chapter 4

AARON

A night away with Robert i can't wait. Last time we went to a hotel it ended badly. Not that i wanna think about that. I can't think about that. Because if i do i'll be reminded of Katie and everything that comes with it. It still haunts me everyday and deep down i know it always will. I played a part in her death and it makes me sick to my stomach. I still have reoccurring nightmares and wake up in a sweat. It also brought back everything i went through with Jackson. Those memories circle around my head on a daily basis. I don't know how Robert deals with it. It's like in his eyes it never happened. He doesn't show what he's feeling or he's better at hiding it then i am. When he told me it was his fault she died i knew then he must have feelings for me. He could of carried on in denial and made me believe it was all my doing. But he didn't. I'm confident he told me because he cares and not just because im a flight risk. 

I got a text from Robert earlier telling me to meet him just outside the village. I'm currently packing an overnight bag and trying my best to dodge my mum. I don't need a lecture from her right now. I know she only does it cause she cares but all the same it still gets to me. I make my way into the back room with my bag slung over my shoulder. I'm so much slower since the accident i binned the crutches days ago. They were doing my head in. As im trying to sneak out through the back as quietly as i can. My mum comes down the stairs and gives me one of her stern looks. I know then im not getting out of here in a hurry.

 

ROBERT

I successfully convinced Chrissie I've got an over night in Leeds. Not that she seemed interested. All her focus is on her degenerate son or Donny at the moment. I mean is it to much to ask for a little bit of attention. That's the least i deserve. Although tonight i'll be getting attention from someone else. It still doesn't excuse the fact that she's basically ignoring me these days. I cant wait to see the back of Donny. Maybe then some normality will return. Not that i consider anything about me or my choices normal. I just want him gone.

The hotel i booked should be well suited to Aaron. I tried really hard with this one to not make him feel out of his comfort zone. It's not as extravagant as the previous hotel and what a disaster that was. But i wont be admiring anything other than Aaron so im not bothered. I just need to say goodbye to Chrissie then im out of here. I cant wait to be alone with Aaron for the whole night. Not just for the obvious though. I like talking to him. It's so easy to open up to Aaron and to not be judged by what i say or do. He listens to me and understands me better than anyone else ever has. My wife included on that. He told me once i was a good person. That confused me a lot. I know im a arrogant son of a bitch at times and some of the things I've done are beyond redeemable but he still has faith in me. No matter how much i mess him around he's there. I'm just scared of the day i push him too far. Because we all know i will, Its what i do best.

AARON

After a 20 minute conversation or rather a heated discussion im finally out the door and on my way to meet Robert. God my mum can talk. That's not a trait she's passed on to me. Walking to the top of the village i see Roberts car parked up. Him and his cars. I swear he changes every few weeks. I preferred the Audi to the current one. He looked good in that car. When i get near enough i see he's got a cheesy grin plastered all over his face. I open the door and climb into the passengers seat. With Robert speeding away before i even get my seat belt on. "Someones eager." He keeps his eyes focused on the road but i can see that amazing jaw clenching. "I am eager Aaron i want you all to myself." I shake my head and look out the window so he cant see the happiness peering onto my face. "We've got all night remember Robert." As we come to a stop waiting for the traffic lights to change he turns his head and for the first time since i got in the car i see his beautiful face. He seriously is too good looking. "We might have all night Aaron but it's still not long enough." I furrow my brows at his sudden openness of feelings. "Better make tonight count then Robert." I glance at him and he just nods at me in response.

ROBERT

He's late. Aaron is actually keeping me waiting. I don't find it annoying though. But today has been a little weird. its like we've switched roles or something. I'm pulled from my thoughts when i see him walking towards me. He looks good. He always looks good when i see him. We've gotta be the best looking people in the village. If it was humanly possible for two men to have kids they'd be the best looking kids in the world. As soon as he's in the car im pulling away and speeding towards the hotel. He tells me im eager. I know i am, im eager to touch him, kiss him and sleep in the same bed as him. When did i become this guy? Before Aaron i never felt this alive. And him saying we've got all night just makes me realize it'll never be long enough for me. What the hell is happening to me. Aaron Livesy has an overwhelming effect on me. I see him from the corner of my eye raise his eyebrows. He's thinking the same as me. Where is Robert Sugden today? I'm not myself. I'm too busy talking to myself to hear what he says to me although i get the gist of it. And it makes me dejected. Something in his voice tells me we wont get many more days like this. So i just nod and try my best to push that thought from my mind.

AARON

When we arrive at the hotel im pleasantly surprised. It's not an expensive over the top place. I'm happy Robert went to all this trouble to make me feel comfortable. As we check in he surprises me yet again. Using his real name for the reservation rather than a fictional one. What is wrong with him. I think he might be ill or something. Today has been strange. I like this Robert though, sweet and attentive, it wont last though. I don't see how it can. In the elevator on our way up to our room hes staring at me again. I know what he wants. And he can have it just not here. I've got more dignity than that. Although he does bring out a side of me i never knew existed. He reaches for my waist. It's always the waist with him. I like it though it makes me feel safe. I think he just tries to assert control. Before he can pin me against the elevator wall the doors open and he releases me as we step out and walk down the corridor to our suite.

Opening the door seemed a task in itself. I hate the key cards you get at hotels. Whatever happened to a plain old fashioned key? it did the job. God i sound so old. Putting our bags down Robert heads for the mini fridge and grabs 2 beers. I take time to look around the room taking in the surroundings. Theirs a huge t.v and king size bed. Knowing Robert he requested that. I sit down on the bed and Robert hands me my beer before taking a seat next to me. "Is this alright for ya?" He lifts his arms up and signals the room. "It'll do Robert. So far so good." He looks at me with a shake of his head. "You know Aaron your a hard man to please." I actually laugh at what he just said. Which makes him smirk. "I've never been told im hard to please Robert." He slides towards me so our thighs are touching and takes the beer from my hand. "I think that's enough talking for now don't you." He moves even closer and splays kisses on my neck making sure to bite me and leave his mark. Before i know it Robert's pinned me to the bed and removed my cloths. Now working on his own. "Robert whats taking so long." Without answering my question he's back on top of me and kissing up my body until he gets to my face. I'm biting my lip mainly on purpose, and staring him down waiting to see what he will do next. The look in his eyes is one I've never seen before. I've seen lust and desperation. I've seen anger and even at times sadness. But this look is different. It's like he's trying to tell me something with his eyes.

ROBERT

We get to the hotel and check in. Aaron looks surprised at me when i say my real name. Booking it earlier it never crossed my mind. When we're in the elevator i find myself looking at him. That's all i seem to do lately is stare at him. I reach for his waist unable to stand the distance between us any longer. I love his waist it's like home for me. I always grab there first. Before i get a chance to lean in and kiss him the elevator doors open. We find our suite and Aaron's moaning because of a stupid key card. He acts older than i do. When we're in the room im straight in the mini fridge getting 2 beers. I turn to find him gazing around. He should know by now we don't go to hotels for the views. It is a nice hotel though. He goes to sit on the bed and i join him handing over a beer. Asking him if i chose wisely. His reply is short and sweet as always. I move closer to him and in the politest way i can tell him to shut up. I place kisses down his neck and leave a trail of bite marks. To make sure i leave my stamp on him. Pushing him back onto the bed before vigorously ripping his cloths off. I then do the same which takes longer than it should.

Removing the last of my cloths i return to the beautiful sight layed out in front of me and pepper kisses up Aaron's body till i reach those baby blue eyes of his. I stare into them longer than necessary. Like i wanna tell him something that requires no words. I have no words right now. I just want him to know how much he means to me without having to talk. I'm no good with words and the feelings in my head are so messed up i couldn't get them out right if i tried. He's keeping focus and i know he's starting to wonder why im lying on top of him just staring. I wanna tell him all these things but i can't. I hope he's reading my mind, because if he is he'll know how much i care about him. He'll know how much i really do love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos :)


	5. Chapter 5

AARON

He's starting to freak me out now. The staring is becoming weird. Especially since he's lying naked on top of me. "Robert why are you looking at me like that?" He's nose is almost touching mine. We don't usually have moments like this. He just smiles and shakes his head before leaning down and finally kissing me. The kiss is also different it's not rushed or frantic. We're not fighting for dominance. I force my tongue into his mouth which seems to rile him up. Groans escaping from his lips and teeth grazing over mine. He reaches for a condom then flips us over so now im on top. I take the condom from him and place it down besides me. I grab for him and start stroking slowly up and down his length as breathy moans fill the room. "Aaron please just.." I cut him off with a kiss before he finishes his sentence. I reach for the condom and roll it on. Steadying myself on the bed. I enter 1 finger and he's arching off the bed already. I push his hips down and lift his legs in the air. When i thrust into him it's like a million fireworks going off in my brain. He feels so good and i just wanna stay here forever. I return my glance to his eyes and for a second i swear i could see tears. My pace quickens and i lose all sense of reality as i feel my release. When i stop panting i see Robert breathing heavily before he too climaxes with a loud grunt. 

When i roll off him. we lye side by side his arm wrapped around my shoulder and drawing patterns down my arm. I don't wanna ask him whats wrong but if i don't then it will annoy the hell out of me. He's acting different. The sex we just had was different. Theirs a intimacy between us that we've never shared before. I turn to him and try to find the right way of putting it. Being careful not to cause an unnecessary argument. "Are you ok Robert? You seem different tonight?" He's clenching his jaw again. "What do ya mean different? Good different? Bad different." What do i say to that. Its not a bad different but it's not the Robert i fell in love with. "I dunno you just seem a bit weird." He turns to face me and places a soft kiss on my shoulder. "Just got a lot on at the minute. You know how it is." I can tell he's lying to me now. I wont push it though. Not yet.

ROBERT

He must really think im an idiot now. He asks me why im staring. I don't trust myself to speak so i just kiss him to dodge the question. Something i seem to be doing a lot lately. The kiss is passionate and unusual for us. Until he gains entry with his tongue. Heating things up between us. moaning in pleasure till i break contact and reach for a condom. I flip him over so im lying on the bed. I usually take control but tonight i feel the need for him to be inside me. And he doesn't hesitate for a second. I hand him the condom and he places it on the bed. Reaching for my erection. He's so good with his hands. I now find myself begging which only ever seems to happen with Aaron. When i feel his fingers i practically jump. I'm so turned on right now i just want him inside of me. I lift my legs so he can gain entry. Thrusting into me. And its like everything in this moment is perfect. My mind goes blank and i feel like im floating. My eyes become watery and i don't know if its the pleasure that's causing it or something deep down i don't wanna admit to myself. I shake the thought as i see Aaron climax which sends me back into a world of my own until i near my release. 

Lying next to each other with my arm wrapped protectively around his shoulder i start to think about Chrissie and how all this isn't fair to her. I never wanted to be a cheater. I cant stop seeing Aaron though. I don't want to ever stop. But i know this cant go on like this forever. Eventually he's gonna ask me to choose. And then what do i do? Things are so messed up i don't wanna deal with any of it. I notice Aaron looking at me and im glad for the break in my thoughts. He tells me im different tonight. I know i am. He brings it out in me. I wanna be honest with him but i don't know how. Maybe im just saving my feelings. Maybe im just saving his. Either way i lie. And he obviously knows it. But thankfully he leaves it and im glad for that.

AARON

A few hours later and we've decided to go out for dinner. I was ready ages ago and now im sitting waiting around for Robert. The love he has for himself is ridiculous. I've never known anyone as vain as him. Every time he passes a mirror he's gotta stare in it. He's worse than a woman. Not that i know much about them. He's deciding on what to wear now. I'm gonna starve to death at this rate. "Robert seriously can we go already." He looks at me with a scowl on his face. "Aaron do i look ready to go?" He points to himself before returning to his bag. "Just throw something on. It doesn't matter." The words come out of my mouth to fast to stop them and now he's looking at me like I've burnt one of his beloved leather jackets. "I cant just throw something on Aaron perfection takes time you know. I pride myself on my appearance." I sigh at him and lean back on the bed. 

Twenty minutes later and i must of drifted off because he's shoving me to wake me up. And he's finally dressed. I gotta admit though he looks really hot. He settled on jeans his grey jumper that looks amazing on him and he's signature leather jacket. Pretty predictable look really i could of saved us time and chose that for him. "I'm ready Aaron. Lets go." All on his terms as always. "I was ready 45 minutes ago Robert." He ignores my comment and pushes me out the door. He's so irritating.

ROBERT

We decided to go out for dinner and Aaron is ready in quick time. I dunno how he does it. He's sitting on the bed looking at me. I'm trying to figure out what to wear. It's not easy looking this perfect 24/7. Although i do make it look that way. He's getting impatient now and trying to hurry me up. You can't rush perfection. I know im irresistible to him. Well i am to everybody but i like to look my best. When he tells me to just throw something on. I lose it for a second. Does he not know me at all? He's just trying to annoy me and its working. Not in his favor though. I'm gonna take purposely longer now just to wind him up. I decide on my grey jumper. That makes me look amazing. my jeans and my favorite leather jacket. I look good. Better than good. I check my hair in the bathroom mirror and give myself a once over till im happy at the reflection staring back at me.

When i walk back into the room he's asleep on the bed. I would be mad at him but he looks to cute. I shake him awake and tell him im ready. He gets off the bed and tells me he's been ready for ages. He's so grumpy at times. It does make me laugh though. I ignore him and urge him out the door locking it behind us.

Sitting in the restaurant looking at the menus i admire how good Aaron looks. I should pay more attention to him. Instead of just myself. He catches my eye and smiles at me. "I'm happy we've got some alone time Aaron." I feel like im on a first date or something. He makes me nervous. "Ya know Robert your're a soppy git at times." I scrunch my face up at that. I don't portray being soft. It only seems to happen with Aaron. "Alright if im soppy then you are too." As the waiter serves us our meals i feel Aaron's hand slide up my leg. If he's trying to turn me on its working. It never takes much with him. Just as im about to speak i feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I know who it is and i don't wanna answer. But it'll raise suspicion. I fish my phone from my pocket and tell him i need to take the call. "Seriously Robert? now. are you joking. just call her back later." I'm in two minds but i decide to answer. "I'll be one minute Aaron i promise." I leave the table and answer my phone. Looking back to find a disappointing look on Aaron's face.


	6. Chapter 6

AARON

I can't believe he’s just left me here on my own to take a call from his wife. I'm angry now and he can see it. He can't go a few hours without speaking to her. I know she's his wife but he planned this and now he's abandoning me. I can see him lurking in the corner talking on his phone. He keeps turning his back to me. I don't know why I'm so surprised to be honest. I look like a right muppet sat here on my own. Just as I down the rest of my beer he returns to our table and gives me a sympathetic look. I don't know why he's looking at me like that he knows I'm annoyed. That look won't soften my attitude. He apologies to me again.” Aaron I'm sorry. It won't happen again.” He thinks an apology will make it better. How little he knows. “What was so important that it couldn't wait then Robert?” He’s rolling his eyes at me now like I'm in the wrong. “She's still my wife Aaron I can't just ignore her calls can I?” Now he's starting to piss me off. “Are you serious?” I feel the sudden urge to lunge across the table and shake some sense into him. He really doesn't have a clue. “Can we just forget about this Aaron. I don't wanna ruin tonight.” He's the one that's put a dampener on things. “Just like that Robert? I'm always gonna be second best to you. I get she's your wife but she's not here is she? I am.” He rolls his eyes at me again and I know then I need to get out of here before I cause a scene I'll regret.

I leave the table in a huff. I don't even tell him where I'm going. All I hear is him calling after me. Not that it makes me stop. I head outside for some air. I need to not see his face for a while. As I get outside its pitch black. I pace up and down to try and calm myself. I know a phone call isn't a big deal but he's the one that was telling me only earlier that the time we have will never be enough. And then he goes and talks to his wife. Why couldn't he reject the call and phone her back later without me knowing. Am I being stupid? I don't know anything anymore.

ROBERT

I take the call from Chrissie and I wish I didn't. All she's drowning on about is herself and I have to stay here and listen to it. I should be with my grease monkey. When I look back he doesn't look happy. He actually looks angry. Great I've caused a mood yet again. And all because of a pathetic phone call. I hurry Chrissie off the line and return my phone to my pocket, heading for the table. When I sit down I give him an apologetic look before verbally apologizing yet again. I tell him that after all she is my wife. And I knew I shouldn't of said that, but it's true. Why doesn't he understand how hard this is for me? It's like I'm split in two. I'm being pulled in Aaron’s direction more than my own wife's. Tonight started off so well and we were getting really close. It was only a phone call he's acting childish.

He's making me angry now. I roll my eyes at him and he stands leaving the table. I call after him a little louder than I should of. It was no use anyway he ignored me. Just when I think we're getting somewhere something idiotic happens like this and were arguing again. I don't know where he's gone but I know to leave him alone for a while. Otherwise he’ll end up doing something he regrets and if it's aimed at me and my beautiful face I won't be happy. Now sitting alone. And I keep getting Stares from people around me. Nosy bastards can't mind Their own business. I throw some money down on the table and head for the exit. I've given him five minutes to cool down. Now I need to go and find him. I'll make it up to him he can't resist my charm for long.

When I look in the room he's not there so I decide to look outside and that's where I eventually find him. He still looks pissed although he does seem calmer. I walk over to him and he sighs when he clocks me. I stand there with my hands in my pockets and swaying on my feet. I can't apologise again. I've done it more tonight then I have in years. I'm Robert sugden I don't do apologies. "Aaron look can we just pretend the last half hour didn't happen." He shakes his head at me before lowering his glance to the ground. "You just don't get it, do you Robert?" I obviously don't get the full extent. "Tell me what I don't get then Aaron." He can't look at me. Or he won't. "She gets you everyday. And yeah I know I sound jealous and I know she's your wife. But for once can't you just put me first for one night? Is that too much to ask for Robert?" He's right it's not to much to ask. Nothing's too much to ask for with him. I lean closer to him and pull him into me. He doesn't back away. So I take that as a good sign. "It's not too much to ask Aaron, I get where your coming from and I'm trying. I really am." Just as I reach for his face I feel rain begin to fall. Great my hairs gonna get ruined. "I just want things to be simple. I hate hiding and sneaking around." In the beginning it was a thrill for me. I got off on it. But now i feel the opposite. Theirs no excitement anymore theirs just disappointment when I have to leave. "I want things to be simple too but this is all we've got right now and I'll take it over nothing." He's features are softening. It's now pouring and I would be thinking about how I look but I'm too busy admiring how hot Aaron looks in the rain. "You know I've never kissed anyone in the rain Aaron." I run my hands up his sides. "Well Robert there's a first time for everything." I smile and take his face in my hands rubbing circles behind his ear as I smack our lips together in a messy but amazing kiss. "You got that right Aaron and that first was with you."

AARON

I'm still standing outside wondering if I've made a complete prat of myself. I was never this mushy with Jackson or Ed. But they were different and Roberts the complete opposite to both of them. I think i was too hard on him. It just feels like we're going round in circles these days. And although i thought having the scraps of him were enough. Maybe its not anymore. I cant see my life with him. As much as i want to. There's no way we can be together properly. But I'm just not ready to let go yet. I feel a lot calmer now and i need to make things right. I wanna remember this night forever. I see him appear from the hotel and watch him walk over to me. He's just standing there with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He does that a lot. I sigh at him and wait for him to speak. He seems generally sorry and i feel pretty bad though but i don't show it. He cant always get his own way. I tell him he doesn't understand anything. And im right about that. More comes out of my mouth then it should of and now i feel a complete idiot. And im showing my jealousy that's something i never wanted him to see. It didn't scare him like i thought it would. I was expecting him to panic or get defensive but he just moves closer to me and i let him. I feel rain or something but it doesn't bother me. If anything it relaxes me. He tells me he's never kissed anyone in the rain and i find that hard to believe. But instead of a snarky comment i go with it anyway. 

Later that night and we're half asleep. The make up sex really took it out of me. We're in complete darkness apart from the glow of the moon peaking through the curtains. There's silence between us but its not awkward. I'm lying on his chest tracing patterns over his bare torso. I feel his body start to relax next to me. Both breathing in sync with each other. These are the moments when i feel like he's completely mine. Like we're the only two people in the world. I just wish every night could be like this. He moves to face me and i know he wants to ask me something. "Spit it out Robert. Whats up?" He's hesitant so i just wait patiently till he decides to talk. "Tell me about Jackson." That's the last thing i thought i'd hear him say. I don't like talking about Jackson let alone think about him. "Robert i don't wanna get into it." There's a lot of painful memories there." I can feel myself tensing up. "Aaron you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But i know he meant a lot to you and you mean a lot to me. I just wanna understand that's all." No one will ever fully understand. And i know he deserves to hear it but i don't know if i can get through telling him everything. "If you really wanna know then i'll tell you. But please don't judge me Robert. I couldn't handle that." He sits up straight and stares at me with sadness in his eyes. "I would never judge you Aaron. Never. You don't have to tell me everything if you don't want. Just tell me what your comfortable with."

ROBERT

We've had a good night apart from earlier, but we made up and its forgotten about. I wish we didn't have to leave in the morning and go back to the village. I'm only relaxed when im with Aaron. We just had the best make up of all time. I swear half the time he only starts arguments for the sex that comes after. He just cant get enough of my body. Who can blame him. I kissed him in the rain earlier it felt like We were a rom com or something. I'd never done that before tonight and what makes it even better is that it was with Aaron. Everything is better with Aaron. I often wonder what would of happened if i met him before Chrissie. Would we be together? Would we hate each other? He probably would of hated me. Not like now. I know he gets annoyed and irritated by me but that's not hate. And im glad our paths crossed for a reason because without him in my life i'd probably be more of a nightmare than i am now. It's so peaceful and soothing here with Aaron lying next to me. I wanna ask him about Jackson. But i don't wanna upset him. I know Jackson meant a lot to Aaron from the bits and pieces I've heard he was the love of Aaron's life. I need to ask him to get a better understanding of him and his past. I wanna know every last thing about Aaron Livesy.

I turn to him and he's sensing I'm curious about something. It's the last thing he'd expect me to ask but If he's prepared to tell me then I'm prepared to listen. I just ask him to tell me about Jackson and at first he's hesitant and he tells me not to judge him. I know i did in the past about his scars but I've regretted that everyday since and i still feel guilty about it. 

"Jackson was the best. I didn't deserve him." He's staring at the ceiling taking deep breathes trying to compose himself. "At first i was confused and one day in the pub i lashed out and hit him in front of everyone. I was still in denial about being gay and i didn't want people to find out." I nod along to what he's saying and wait for him to continue. "You don't need to know everything about him so i'll just tell you this." "When we finally got together. we we're happy for a little while but i still couldn't fully accept who i was. "We went out one night and got into an argument." I can feel his nerves and see the tears streaming down his face. I reach for his hand and place it in mine.

"You don't need to tell me anymore Aaron. I know its painful for you." He's shaking his head at me. But he carries on. "I need to tell you Robert. You should know. I'm nearly done anyway." I can tell he trusts me enough to tell me. "He told me he loved me. And i didn't say it back so he drove off. i tried calling him over and over and.." I cant handle this now he's sobbing i just wanna take all the pain away from him and inflict it on myself. I reach to pull him towards me not able to see him upset any longer. he dives into my arms burying his head in the crook of my neck. "It's ok Aaron I've got ya. Just breathe." I try comforting him by gently rocking back and forth and rubbing his back. "He crashed Robert. He was in hospital for ages. Paralyzed from the neck down." "I tried to support him and be there. But it wasn't enough in the end."

As i lean back on the bed still cuddling Aaron he starts to slowly calm down. "You probably know the rest Robert and if you don't then i'll tell you but not tonight."

I can't believe the hell he's been through in his life and he's still so young. I'm proud of him and who he is. I never thought about his feelings in the start and some of the things I've said to him make me feel sick. I Look at him and I've actually got tears in my eyes. The things this man does to me. I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I want Chrissie but I want Aaron. I'm in hell and I put myself here.

TBC?


	7. Chapter 7

AARON

I woke up this morning after the bests nights sleep I've had in ages. I don't know why i slept so well considering what i told Robert last night but i did. I feel closer to him now then i ever have. And in a way that just makes things more difficult. But im happy he listened and didn't judge me. He was so sweet and understanding it just made me fall in love with him even more. I cry in front of him so much im surprised he doesn't call me up on it With one of his little comments. I actually saw tears in his eyes as well last night. I'm not used to Robert showing so much emotion in front of me. I like that side of him though. I like that he feels comfortable enough to open up to me and although it doesn't happen very often it just makes it more special when it does and i see a glimpse of another side to him.

We're currently sat on the bed eating breakfast. After Robert ordered room service. We check out in an hour and im dreading going home. I'm looking at him and grinning. He looks so cute in the morning with his bed hair. "Aaron stop admiring me. I know i look good even in the morning but if you wanna check out on time stop giving me that smile. Your doing things to me." How is this Robert so different to the one i see when he's with Chrissie. He hides most of his personality around her. "We better get sorted then before you shove me against that wall." I would like him to shove me against that wall and feel his lips all over my body. Feel his breathe on my skin. I shake my head to stop the thoughts. He's too bloody hot for his own good. 

ROBERT

I don't wanna go home I really don't. I wish we could stay longer. I wish we could stay forever. Would anyone really notice i was gone, I doubt it. What Aaron told me last night only made me want him more. I feel different this morning i feel more connected to him. And im so proud of him and the way he turned his life around. He really doesn't know how amazing he is. I should tell him that more. He deserves to hear it everyday. My head still feels messed up but its clear enough now to know now that i don't wanna lose him. But that could only mean one thing for us. One thing for me to do. And i don't know if im ready for that. I just need time and i hope he gives it to me.

I'm on the bed eating breakfast and getting little smiles from Aaron. He looks good in the morning. I envy that he can just roll out of bed and go. Without having to do anything. He's so good looking it makes me doubt my good looks. I know im beautiful but he's sexy. He's my sexy little grease monkey. And if he keeps smiling at me like that im gonna pounce on him. Every time im near him i want him. I've never had such adventurous or amazing sex in my life. I never thought a man would give me the best sex of my life. I know im awesome in bed though. I'm the best there is. That's obvious from the reactions i get off Aaron. 

He's staring at me when i come out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. He's probably thinking how hot i look all wet. I know i do i checked myself out in the mirror before. He's biting that damn lip of his as well. It really turns me on when he does that. i just wanna bite it for him, and other places on his body. I love his body including his scars. There part of him and although hes never really told me about them i know he will one day. Its part of his history and it must of been painful for him. I silently curse myself again for taunting him about them. I'm such an idiot. No im worse than that im a nasty bastard and i don't deserve chance after chance he gives me. But im so glad he hasn't given up on me. Well not yet anyway. I just pray when i tell him i need time to pluck up the courage and leave Chrissie he'll stick by me. I'm not prepared to lose him again. 

AARON

In the car on the way back to the village im quieter than normal. I'm fiddling around with my hands like im nervous or something. He's also driving really slow which is making me wonder a little more than its annoying me. And i know it's not because of the thunderstorm and The rain. "Robert why are we going so slow?" He's ignoring me. I wave my hand briefly in front of his face to get a reaction. And it worked although he's kinda angry now. "Are you trying to cause an accident Aaron?" Bloody hell he's so touchy sometimes. "I don't think i could cause an accident with how slow you're going Robert." He looks at me briefly before returning his eyes back to the front. "I'm not going that slow and if i am i didn't notice." I place my hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong with you? You were fine earlier."

He pulls over in a lay by and turns the engine off before facing me. "I need to tell you something." I'm getting worried by how serious he's coming across. "What? Just tell me what it is." He's doing that thing with his jaw again. im not letting him bide his time so i widen my eyes at him and shrug my shoulders to try and get a reply. "I don't want you to think that your're just a bit on the side to me." Because your not Aaron not anymore." Now im confused where the hell has this come from? I try to speak but he cuts me off. "Just listen to me. I never wanted to cheat on Chrissie." "I never wanted to fall for you." But every time we meet and then you leave, A piece of me leaves with you." I'm seriously in shock now. Someone has cloned Robert Sugden and iv'e got the wrong one. He reaches for my hand and i let him take it before he carries on talking. "I don't want just a few hours with you here and there anymore." Is he doing what i think he is. "Are you ending it Robert?" He shakes his head and lets out a small laugh. "No Aaron im not ending it. But you might in a minute." Now im getting frustrated with him. Hes skirting round something and i don't like it. "Just get to the point Robert." I scowl at him and turn away. "I need time to sort my head out Aaron. And then im gonna leave Chrissie." Wait what did he just say to me. I'm gobsmacked. "Are you serious Robert. Don't play games with me its not fair." I look at his face for any signs of truth and he just looks hurt. "I'm not playing Aaron, I'm sick of all of it." "Everything that once mattered to me is not as important anymore." "I don't know how i feel for my own wife anymore." "All i know is how i feel about you".

"And how is that then Robert? How do you feel about me? honestly." I mostly know how he feels but i need to hear it to be sure. "I love you Aaron. You know i do." "When im not with you i cant stop thinking about you. and when i am with you it's never for long enough." I believe what he's saying to me. "So what do we do about it then Robert?" All of a sudden he looks tired. I never realized or thought about how much this affects him. "Don't give up on me Aaron. I'm gonna work things out in my head. and find a way to leave her but in the mean time i need you to be there for me." I already know i wont leave him i don't believe this is just another excuse. "I'm not going anywhere Robert. I love you. You idiot." He sighs in relief before taking my face in his hands and gently placing his lips on mine. "You finally said it back Aaron after all these months of not hearing it." "It feels even better than i thought it would to hear you say those words to me". I'm grinning at him like a fool. "I mean every word Robert. Just stick to your plan and everything will work out. Trust me."

ROBERT

I dropped Aaron off a hour ago after telling him about everything. He took it well and im glad he's gonna stick by me. I don't think i could do it without him. When i heard those three words from his mouth it lit me up inside like nothing ever has. The first time he said them i wasn't ready to hear it or i just didn't want to. But now i feel on top of the world. I feel i can do anything with him by my side. And i know when everything comes out im gonna need him more than ever. I just need to work out how to leave my wife. I never thought i'd leave her especially for a man. But i cant pretend he doesn't make me feel this way and all the money and lavish things in the world are not gonna change that. It hasn't changed the fact that i love Aaron and i don't need anything other than him. I know im gonna hurt her by telling the truth and she will probably kill me for it. But i cant pretend anymore. Well not for much longer anyway. 

I still need to act normal around her and keep up appearances. Leaving her is not gonna happen over night and i need to be prepared for what she will do. She may seem sweet on the outside but inside there's a mad woman that's waiting to come out should she get mistreated in anyway. And Lawrence is even worse. I cant see a easy way out but i wont stop till Aaron and me are together properly.

TBC?


	8. Chapter 8

AARON

Roberts sitting at the kitchen table in the back room just staring at me. Its been 2 weeks since he told me his plans about Chrissie and so far nothing major has changed. I can tell though he's slowly pulling away from her. Most of his time is spent with me still in secret obviously but I've enjoyed it. I witnessed a argument between them in the pub yesterday and it was pretty brutal. Robert started it. he always does. He told me that's all they do lately. I'm not sure if its on purpose or not or if he's exaggerating the truth. But either way I'm trying my best to keep out of Chrissie's way I already feel guilty. And its only gonna get worse when the affair comes out. I'm not looking forward to it at all. But to get Robert at the end of it is worth it.

I've not thought about the consequences its gonna have when everything's out in the open. For me nothing drastic is gonna change apart from being hated for a while and most probably targeted by the whites. But for Robert its gonna be a hundred times worse. I'm not sure if he'll be able to handle that. I know right now he's not ready for it and I don't want to push him to much because this is such a big deal. But he needs to talk to me more. He's sighing at me now and its getting annoying. "I've gotta get back to work Robert so you better go." The grin on his face tells me he's going no where in a hurry. "Aaron you cant kick me out. I've come to see you." I cant kick him out of his step mothers pub. "I'm going Robert if you want the wrath of my mum you can stay here." I knew that would get him on his feet. I wonder if their ever see eye to eye. Knowing my mum it wont be anytime soon. "No way am i risking your mum, she despises me." "And she scares me a little bit Aaron." My mum scares him. He's really got no idea how intimidating she can really be. "Come on then iv'e gotta get back Adam will be moaning by now." As we exit the pub through the back door he pushes me against the wall and gives me a jaw dropping kiss hands placed on my face and tongues forcing entry. One that makes me wanna drag him back inside and not leave the four walls of my room for days.

When i finally say goodbye to Robert in the end not wanting to break that amazing kiss. I get to the scrapyard and see a moody looking Adam. He's constantly in a slumber these days. I know he's got a lot on and i get that more than most. but he's depressing. I want my best mate back. The way he's throwing things around makes me only sigh in relief that it is a scrapyard. Otherwise at this rate we'd be out of business by the end of the week. He clocks me standing there staring at him and just nods his head. "Are you gonna help at all today mate? I'm not doing all the hard work." God he needs to tell Vic already. I'm surprised he didn't a few weeks back. "Still in a mood than mate? What is your problem? Just tell her Adam. Its gotta be better than you sulking around here all day your doing me head in." He stops what he's doing and storms towards me. If I've said the wrong thing im just about to know about it. "It's that easy is it? I'll lose her Aaron. You don't know what its like trying to keep something this big a secret its killing me mate." I look at him in surprise and i have to stop myself from laughing at what he just said. He thinks that's a big secret. He's got no idea. "Don't tell her than Adam. Or do. Just get ya head straight, I don't like seeing ya like this mate." 

ROBERT

I've just left Aaron's and im back at home again doing paperwork of all things. I know what i wanna be doing. Its what i always wanna do these days. I cant get enough of him. I even think about him with my wife in the same room. Chrissie's sitting at her desk when i look over. pouting at her computer screen. It never used to annoy me like it does now. Every time i look at her she's pouting like shes got duck lips. We keep arguing as well. About stupid little things that don't need to be mentioned let alone argued about. I don't know if im doing it on purpose. If i am its not really working in my favor. I need a plan of action and fast, cause so far I've got nothing concrete in mind. And Aaron's patience can only go so far. I still think he thinks im messing him around, But that's really not the truth. I will prove to him how much he means to me. He should know by the fact I'm always with him these days. and the weird thing about that is Chrissie doesn't even notice im gone half the time.

We don't even talk like a husband and wife should anymore. She mainly talks at me and throws orders my way. And if im to stay on her good side i'll obey her instructions. And now I've started to talk back at her she just shuts up and sulks like a 4 year old. I cant win either way. I'm seeing more and more everyday how messed up this marriage really is. How messed up i actually am. I don't know if its this situation or that iv'e always been this way but i cant take much more of it. I'm a lying cheat and i just wanna tell her that. But every time i get close to revealing the truth something in the back of my head tells me not to. To bide my time. To cause as little drama and pain as possible. But in all seriousness however i do it or whenever i do it. It's gonna blow up in my face. And Aaron will feel the effects of it too. And as much as i don't want him involved in all of this and to keep him from harms way. Its gonna happen its inevitable.

She's looking at me now from above her computer screen. I wish she'd just tell me what she wants to tell me. instead of staring at me like an idiot. "Chrissie whats up?" I needed to speak otherwise i'd be sat here forever. "Lets go out tonight Robert. How about the pub?" I really don't want to go to the pub. I don't want Aaron seeing us together. Rubbing it in his face is not something he likes to witness let alone something i wanna do to him. "Can't we just stay in tonight? I'm pretty tired Chrissie." I know its not gonna happen she's so persistent when she wants to be. "We never go out anymore Robert. Just a quick drink." I would argue this more but she's right and although im trying to get out of this marriage i still wanna treat her as nice as i can. Plus i get to see Aaron he wont be happy but i'll soon change that. "Ok just a quick one though." She comes over and kisses me on the cheek before smiling and leaving the room. I don't deserve her and i hate what iv'e done to her what i continue to do to her. But i cant help it anymore. I said i'd never cheat on her with another woman and that still remains true. And although she wont see it that way. She's the only woman i'll ever really love.

AARON

I'm sitting in the corner of the pub with my pint, out of eyes view watching people. I like sitting here quietly taking everything in. I've just finished an exhausting day at the scrapyard. And im not talking about the work. Adam has done my head in all afternoon. Chewing my ear off about anything and everything to do with him and Vic. And ill probably have to listen to it all over again tomorrow. And i will because he's my best mate. I've not heard from Robert all afternoon. I wasn't sure if id see him tonight until he just walked in with Chrissie in tow. He's looking around and i don't know if its for me. He looks pissed off until he finds my eyes and gives me his signature smile that's just for me. I feel a little hurt by him. I know she's still his wife and all but flaunting in my face is just unfair. I make my way to the toilets to splash water on my face and mainly to get away from the act he's putting on. Before i even turn the tap on he's there behind me. Arms finding my waist. And a soft kiss placed on my neck. How does he do it? If i was annoyed before its fading fast. 

ROBERT

Making my way in the pub i find myself tensing up. i know Aaron's in here. I always find him in the pub or the scrapyard. He's so predictable sometimes. And as i walk to the bar and turn around i was proved right. He's sitting in the corner on his own with a pint. He looks so cute i just wanna walk over to him and drag him upstairs. When i tell Chrissie to find a seat i order the drinks and return my glance to Aaron. looking back in his direction i find him standing up and heading for the loos. I signal to Chrissie that i'll be one minute before quickly following him. In the toilets i find him about to wash his hands or something. I make my presence known by putting my arms around his waist and giving him a kiss on his neck. Not even bothering to check if we're alone. "What do you want Robert?" I get his annoyance. But i feel him softening second by second. "I want you Aaron." I turn him around to face me and see a hint of a smile appear at the corners of his mouth. "What in here? While your wife is mere footsteps away." He's right but i find myself not caring. At this moment im not thinking about anything but the gorgeous blue eyed man stood in front of me. I go in to kiss him and after a second of hesitation on his part he gives in and kisses me back. "I want you so badly Aaron." I push him against the sink so hes practically sitting on it and feather kisses down his neck. 

After five minutes we break apart and i let go of him. Straighten myself up all the while grinning at him. He really is gorgeous. The things i feel for him never cease to amaze me. As i go to leave he pulls me back for one last lingering kiss. I could stay with him like this forever. When i walk out of the toilets i find my mood has dramatically improved. Five minutes with Aaron can do that to me so easily. He returns to his seat soon after and as i go to sit down i see Andy appear from the toilets. How long has he been in there? by the way he's looking at me he knows something. And although my first reaction should be to panic. I surprise myself until he comes over to our table. Then im pushing him backwards and telling him to shut up. I know he knows. But whats he gonna do about it?


	9. Chapter 9

ANDY

I can't believe what I've just seen. Robert in the toilets with Aaron. And not just for the obvious. He was kissing him. My supposedly straight brother who also happens to be married to a woman. Was kissing a guy. I can't take it in how is this happening? It wasn't just innocent kissing either the way they were going at it! How did I not know this huge secret about my own brother. I've gotta confront him. I can't sit back and pretend I saw nothing. This is too huge to just ignore. He's cheating on his wife. And Chrissie doesn't deserve that. He can't keep it in his pants for longer than five minutes. I don't know why I'm so surprised to be honest. It's Aaron im shocked at. I thought he knew better than to get involved with a married man. And he knew from the start Robert was trouble, I need to talk to both of them. 

When I return to the pub I see Aaron sitting at his table. And Robert with Chrissie. I look at him with a confusing stare and he immediately knows what ive just seen. He doesn't look scared or anxious though, Which makes me wonder even more. I'm shaking my head at him in disappointment and I can see Aaron out the corner of my eye looking over. I walk over to Robert and that's when I finally see a hint of panic appear in his eyes. He should do more than panic. If he thinks im keeping this secret or whatever the hell this is to myself he's got another thing coming. I reach the table and Chrissie gives me a weak looking smile. And I can see her disapproval at my presence. interrupting her night. I really couldn't care less right now. Neither would she if she just witnessed what I did. Before I even get a word out of my mouth he's pushing me backwards towards the exit of the pub. I would put up a fight but this conversation needs to be done in private. I wanna know why he thinks its ok to cheat on his wife with another man. I wanna know how long its been going on, When it started, Its's probably just a thrill to him. He doesn't have any real feelings for Aaron he can't have.

When we get outside I've shrug him off me and push him round the corner so no-one will overhear us. I'm angry at him. And I vent that his way. "What the hell are you playing at Rob? I saw you with Aaron." He doesn't even try to defend himself. "Fine Andy you caught me. What do you want me to say?" I can't believe him. What has happened to my brother. "How about why? Rob. Why are you cheating on your wife and with a man? Are you bisexual?" He pushes past me with force and starts to walk away until I grab him. "This is none of your business Andy." I don't have to explain myself to you, Why are you sneaking around anyway?" Nothing better to do?" Now i wanna punch him and tell him to get a grip he's throwing everything he supposedly loves away. Based on a stupid fling that makes no sense what so ever. "How long Rob? Was Katie right about you?" I'm sure I saw something in his eyes at the mention of Katie's name. He looks remorseful. "You wanna know Andy? You really wanna know I'll tell ya." "Everyone will know soon enough anyway." This is serious now, Telling me everyone will find out, I need to hear whats really going on. 

ROBERT

I knew when he walked towards me in the pub that he saw everything between me and Aaron. I can't believe this is happening now. Aaron's looking at me aswell like he can read my mind. Why does Andy have to interfere in everything. I had it under control I was working on a way to leave Chrissie. Now this, I need to tell him the truth. Not about Katie he can never know about that. He needs to know the truth about me and Aaron. Where the hell do I start? So much has happened between us, I don't wanna lose my brother just as I finally got him back after all these years of no contact and hating each other. He's stopped in front of my table and I've got no choice but to get him out of this pub now. I don't even make an excuse to Chrissie, I just get up and push Andy towards the door and out of the pub. As I leave I give Aaron a quick look and try talking to him with my eyes. I hope he understands because I need him now more than ever. I'm gonna confess to my brother im in love with a man and I plan to end my marriage to be with Aaron. I need Aaron's support to get through this.

When We're outside Andy keeps throwing question after question at me. Why should I have to explain what I get up to. It's no-ones business but my own, Yet he thinks its his right to know everything. And he's labelling me now. Cant I just be me without being put into a box. Yeah I love a man, And I know it makes no sense. I know I cant be straight and I know im not gay, so He's right I am bisexual but as much as I admit it to myself it doesn't mean im ready to say it out loud. He's asking me why im cheating on my wife and knowing him he probably thinks im throwing my marriage away. If he carries on talking about Aaron and my relationship like this im gonna lash out. Brother or not im not taking his crap. I sigh and try to walk away but he pulls me back. And now im starting to get annoyed at him. He keeps ranting on at me and I try to tune out and silence his voice, But when Katie's name is mentioned and he asks if she was right about me, im more aware than I have been in months.

I need Aaron now. I know Andy's not gonna let this go till I tell him whats going on. So I've got no choice. "I've been seeing Aaron for months." I couldn't put it much simpler than that. And by the look of shock on his face he got what I was saying. "I cant believe you Robert. Your risking everything you've got. And for what?" "Because it can't be nothing more than a bit of fun for you." He knows nothing. No-one understands me but Aaron, And im sick of it. "You've got no idea how I feel about him Andy. Dont pretend you care if I lose everything." Where the hell is Aaron. When I need him he's always usually here. This is not gonna end well I can just see it. "You don't have real feelings Rob, I know you. How can you care about Aaron when everything you've always wanted is with Chrissie." I'm pacing now mainly to stop myself knocking him out. I feel really anxious around him. "Trust me Andy my feelings for Aaron are real. You don't know what goes on between us. He's the only one that understands me and listens to me without judging, Aaron's the only person I feel comfortable and completely myself with." So don't talk shit about what you think you know." I'm shaking in anger. My voice has changed from semi calm to full on rage and im starting to shout at him. If people hear me. I don't care. I'm seriously past caring. 

AARON

The way Robert looked at me before he hurried out of the pub practically forcing Andy with him. Was not a look I see from him often, if at all. Somethings going on here and i've got a feeling whatever it is it's not good. My mind is racing with too many thoughts as to what the hell I just witnessed between them two. Does Andy know something he shouldn't? Has he figured out everything with Katie? I suddenly feel nervous and im shaking. My fingers are tapping on the table in rapid succession and my vision is starting to blure. Surely if Andy knew I wouldnt still be sitting here in one piece. That thought calms me a little. But only slightly. I still think he knows something. And if it's not that then its gotta be about Robert and me. I'm debating whether to go outside and see what the fuck is going on. But would I just be in the way. If Robert is telling him about us. I think its something he has to do on his own. I just don't know if he's got the nerve to do it. Im gonna wait it out and if Robert needs me he knows where I am. As i go to the bar to order another pint i see Chrissie sitting solo with a scowl on her face. Nothing unusual about that, But i do feel for her. 

ROBERT

I sit down against the wall and try to calm down a bit. I dont wanna lose control of the situation. Andy comes over and sits down next to me quietly staring into the distance, probably trying to take this huge bombshell in. I wanna stay silent and pretend this isnt happening. Chrissie should be the first to know about this, its the least she deserves from me. But in a way i feel relief taking over me im carrying one less secret from my brother. I've got my head in my hands when i hear Andy ask his next question. I've got all the answers but i still dont appreciate being forced to reveal everything about my secret relationship. "Is it serious Rob?." Thats easily answered by just looking at him and nodding but i vocalise anyway. "Yeah it's serious Andy, It's not just a bit of fun anymore like it was at the start, I feel things for him I never knew i could feel for someone." I lean my head back against the cold wall and close my eyes. All of a sudden tired and emotional. He gets on his feet and stands infront of me. "Do you love him? Are you in love with him Rob?" I slowly push myself up off the floor and brush away signs of dirt on my clothes. Placing my hands in my pockets. Its like security for me these days. I look him square in the eyes partly to make sure he knows i mean it, But mostly because when i say it to him out loud it will change everthing. "Like i've never loved anyone before. I know you dont understand it Andy and you dont accept it but its how i feel. I cant change it, and i would'nt change it for the world."

"It's not that i dont accept it Robert, I dont care who you love. Your my brother and i'll stick by you. But she's still your wife cant you try and work things out with her"? As much as i try to convince him he's never gonna fully get it. And im ok with that, but he wont change my mind. I love Aaron and he's all i want. I dont need anyone else in my life. I want my family but if they dont understand this then i've got no hesitation in telling them where they can stick family loyalty. "I dont want Chrissie anymore, She's my wife i know and i feel awful for what im doing to her, But i dont regret it Andy. She's not the life i want anymore. The life i want is with Aaron. And before long thats what i'll have."

TBC?


	10. Chapter 10

ROBERT

My conversation with Andy went better than I expected it too, Well in the end anyway. I Know he's not gonna blab to anyone about Aaron and me, He gave me his word. And I do trust him to stick to it. I completely opened up to him and told him how I felt about my grease monkey. It did feel weird in the beginning, I don't express my feelings easily. Especially not to my estranged until lately big brother. But by the end of it I felt content and I could tell he believed what I was telling him. I know he said he'd stick by me and I hope he does. But to me those are just words and actions are stronger than that. I would like my brother to be on my side, Only time will tell I guess. I'm still lingering outside and breathing in the cold night air, I know Chrissie's probably on one right about now. And ill be in the dog house later for not properly excusing myself. I am a little hurt that Aaron didn't come out and help me with Andy, I was literally pleading him with my gorgeous eyes. He can be so slow at times. 

As I make my way back in the pub I instantly look around for Aaron. And he's nowhere to be seen. Just my luck, I bet he's in the back room and although I wanna barge back there and see him the death glares im receiving from Chrissie put me off that idea. So I return to my seat and slap on a fake smile in hopes she'll believe yet another lie I tell her. She's tapping her nails against her empty wine glass and looking at me like she wants to rip my head off my shoulders. I'm sick of feeling like this around her. Everything I say or do is wrong, I don't wanna even be next to her right now. I can't put up this pretence for much longer. And although im pretty good at hiding things and putting on an act, I can't carry on this way, Its draining and im wasting my time. Time I could be having with Aaron. Chrissie's still looking pretty angry and as I go to speak she gets up and storms out of the . pub. She's so childish it makes me wonder at times like this why I ever married her in the first place. Dont get me wrong when we first met the attraction was instant and I wanted her from the get go. She gave me things that I always wanted. And I always thought id grow old with her by my side, But now looking at her I feel hardly anything anymore. When one look from Aaron sets my heart beating and I feel butterflies. One look from my grease monkey and im his. I don't know how it happened but he sets my world on fire. With Chrissie there's nothing there anymore and stringing her along like this is not fair.

AARON

Now im starting to wonder where Robert is. I'm in my room lying on my bed staring blankly at the ceiling. I do this a lot it helps me relax but right now im anything but relaxed. I can't help but think something is up. He should have texted or called me by now. I feel worried. Mostly for him and his state of mind. We all know he does things in the heat of the moment without fully thinking it through and the consequences can be disastrous. Why am I thinking like this? I can't help but overreact when in comes to Robert bloody Sugden. He gets my blood boiling and heart racing along with the anger I have when he's arrogance takes over. But at the same time he makes me smile and gives himself to me in ways no one has ever had the chance to see but me. I feel so many different emotions with him. Its shattering and overwhelming but ive never felt so happy with anyone in my whole life. I take the ups and downs for him, the good and bad because at the end if the day he's mine and I love him. 

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I hear my phone buzzing besides me. I instantly reach for it in hope its him that's texting me. When I look at the screen I see his name and I sigh in relief. I wanna know what went on with him and Andy but I don't wanna pry to much. As I read the message my suspicions were correct and now I need to speak with him face to face to see if he's ok. It cant of been easy coming out to his brother, Andy's not the easiest of guys to talk to at times. And Robert snaps at him pretty quickly. I think their both as bad as each other. Ok Robert might be worse what with everything that's happened since he returned but I'll always defend him anyways. I reply to his text and tell him to meet me at the cricket Pavillion now. I put my jacket on and rush down the stairs and out the back door. Walking through the village till I reach our meeting place. Its dark outside now and there's a slight chill in the air. But the sky is clear and as I look up its scattered with hundreds of stars. It's so quiet and peaceful out here with no one in sight until I turn the corner and see Robert sitting on the steps, Knees tucked up and staring into the distance. 

ROBERT

I make my way back outside and sit on the bench in front of the pub. I get my phone out and decide to text Aaron and tell him whats been going on. I need to see him and those baby blue eyes. I don't understand how I miss him after barely an hour apart but I do. He texts me back and tells me to meet him at the cricket Pavillion so straight away im up and walking there. It's not a long walk and so after a minute or so I reach the Pavilion and take a seat on the steps outside. Waiting for Aaron. I sit quietly and for the first time in ages I feel I can breathe. Telling Andy was the right thing to do and im glad it happened. I look around the Pavillion and see Aaron staring at me in the dark. He is weird sometimes. I dont' blame him for looking though I am perfection after all. He walks over and takes a seat next to me, my hand instantly finds his and I smile at him. "What did he say Robert? What did you even tell him?" He keeps hold of my hand but squeezes it gently I guess as a sign of support. "I told him about us. He saw us kissing earlier so i couldn't really deny it Aaron. But he seems alright about it. He still wants me to try with Chrissie though." I shake my head and turn to Aaron. He thinks Andy's words make a difference to me. "You know Robert if you wanna try with your wife I'll understand. I wont like it so if you've got any doubts about us you need to say so now." I cant believe he's saying these things to me after everything. I'm angry at him. Why would he think I'd have doubts about us? He's the only thing in my life im 100% sure of. I stand up and face him. "Are you serious right now Aaron? Why would you say that to me?" He's not looking at me now and I cant stand the fact that deep down I know he still thinks he's second best to me. "I don't want her Aaron. Do you not belive what im telling you or something?" 

"It's not that I don't believe you Robert. I just don't wanna wreck her life, As much as I want you and us if there's anything you feel is worth saving between the two of you then I don't wanna stand in the way of that, She doesn't deserve this Robert." I wont let him do this, He never puts himself first and im gonna do that because Aaron is the only thing that matters. "Theres nothing left to save between Chrissie and me anymore. And even if there was I still could never let you go Aaron." I walk closer to him and bend down so we're facing each other. "It's you i want Aaron, grumpy, argumentative and amazingly gorgeous you." I stroke his face and pull him even closer to me. "Robert you're so soppy at times. But im glad I get to see this side of you." I smile and lean in for a kiss. This one slow and passionate no force or fighting for control. Just us showing our feelings to each other.

As we break apart i feel the need for more and sensing Aaron's dissapointment I know he's not satisified either. I drag him by his jacket up the stairs and inside the abandoned house. "Robert anyone could come in and see us." I silence him once more with a kiss and begin ripping at his cloths not stopping till i've got a completly naked Aaron in front of me. His body turns me on more than anything in this world and i find myself lingering. Just staring at perfection. He pushes me against the nearest wall and out of my daze stripping me of my shirt and jacket and leaving a trail of sloppy kisses in his wake. I take a deep breathe and close my eyes as he removes the remander of my clothes biting and sucking his way down to my crotch. I feel ready to explode already as i feel his breathe. He takes me in his mouth and i swear for a second i see stars. Im writhing around unable to control myself at the pure pleasure he's giving me. I turn him around and prepare him to take all of me. Entering two and then three fingers until im satisifed he's good to go. I Situate myself behind him and slowly push into him. "Robert please i want all of you." My fear of hurting him fades away in seconds and im thrusting into him until i've bottomed out. A feeling of euphoria over taking my entire body and pleasure ive never got with anyone but Aaron. He's stroking up and down his length and i dissapear into oblivion until i reach my climax. As i slowly pull out he screams my name over and over at his relase and to me its the best sound in the world.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

AARON

its 2 weeks later and i'm sitting outside the pub watching the world go by in my own little bubble. I've been so happy these past couple of weeks and everything between me and Robert is going well. Everything about the home farm raid came out a few days ago thanks to Ross bloody Barton.Its not been easy for Robert i can tell that by just looking at him. He's not as down beat as i thought he would be though. Which pleasantly surprises me. Maybe he just sees it as an easy way out for him so we can be together without Chrissie ever having to find out the full truth. The affair still hasn't been revealed either and at the moment that's the way its gonna stay. I still hate being a secret and he knows this but without having to compete with Chrissie its one less burden to carry. 

Robert is currently staying at the pub, on the sofa or so everyone is made to believe. When everyone is asleep he sneaks into my room and sleeps with me. I did find it a little weird in the beginning at how much i like sharing my space with him. I'm usually a private person and i don't let nothing or no one invade that. but with him its different i find myself wanting to share thing with him and not just the materialistic kind either. Don't get me wrong he still pisses me off on a daily basis what with his beauty regime and his constant need for attention, but that comes with the package. And i knew going into this relationship that he was arrogant and selfish but it didn't put me off that's just one side of him and it never will. Half the time i laugh at how ridiculous he is and the other half i just get annoyed with him he knows how to push my buttons, i give as good as i get though.

I look down the road and i see Robert walking towards me with a little grin on his face. God how can a smile from him light me up in seconds. He gets closer and sits opposite me so we're face to face. He looks hot today. No hideous shirt from his collection. Just his blue jumper and leather jacket with jeans. He dresses more casual these days since he's not up at home farm and trying to keep Chrissie happy. "You checking me out Aaron?" I shake my head at him and bite my lip. "It's alright i don't blame you i mean who wouldn't look at me?" There's that arrogance of his again. "You know Robert you're not that good looking." I like winding him up and watching his facial expressions change faster than the drop of a hat. He's frowning at me now like I've hurt his feelings. Robert Sugden is secretly sensitive. "Stop frowning at me Robert you're get frown marks and that'll make you look even older than you do now." His jaw is clenching now and i can tell I've got to him. I try to hide my smugness by resting my elbows on the table so my hands are in front of my face. "Aaron i am not old. that hurt you know. Your pay for that little remark later." 

 

ROBERT

I've actually split from Chrissie, Well she threw me out when everything about the robbery surfaced. And in a way i'm glad Ross Barton opened his big mouth and blabbed. It's not like i would of never left her. But this way i think its easier not just for me but for Aaron too. In the future she probably will find out about the affair and i'm not afraid of that but right now she doesn't need to know. These last few days with Aaron have been amazing. Yeah we're still a secret but it still feels like a weight has been lifted. I'm free to do what i want now and what i want is Aaron. It feels new and different with him which is weird because we've been seeing each other on and off for months. 

Diane took me in when i became officially homeless and at first i was skeptical about staying at the pub. Not because every time i'm close to Aaron i wanna rip his cloths off, Its because of Chas. She hates me with a passion, Even more now i live under the same roof as her. I'm glad she doesn't know i stay in Aaron's room most nights. She'd probably kill me. She is eventually gonna have to grow to like me though cause i'm not going anywhere and i will let her know that. I am also gonna have to tell Vic and Diane about me and Aaron. I don't know how they will react but if there anything like Andy then i should be alright, I might get an ear full of Vic but i can handle that i know she only cares. 

I'm walking up the road towards the pub after going to talk to Andy at the farm. He's been pretty supportive of me and Aaron. He still doesn't understand it though but then again i don't expect anyone too. I found it hard enough to get my head round it in the beginning. I can see Aaron sitting on a bench outside the pub he's looking in my direction and i give him a smile. When i reach his table i sit down and look into his ocean blue eyes. He was checking me out from afar, I wouldn't expect anything less to be honest i am gorgeous and he knows this. He's biting his lip at me. If he only knew how turned on it makes me seeing that. I soon switch my attitude though when he tells me i look old. How can he say that to me? I look good for my age better than good. He knows how to wind me up and i shouldn't let it get to me but with him it always does. I care about what he thinks of me and that's why it makes me angry. I'll get him back for that later though. I'll have him begging for forgiveness. 

Later on when We're sitting in the back room watching t.v Chas comes strolling in and tuts at me. I'm getting pretty fed up with her constant disapproval at my presence. I need to start looking for somewhere else to stay. I might try the b&b tonight see if Aaron wants to join me. When i look over at him hes fixated on some programme I've barely even acknowledged. I nudge him and lean my head to the left in the direction his mum is standing making a coffee. She makes me uncomfortable and i know she does it on purpose more than anything. I just want her to butt out of our lives and let us get on with it. As i change position on the sofa i catch her once again glaring at me and I've had enough now. When i stand to leave Aaron asks me where i'm going. I lie and tell him i need some air. I don't wanna argue with him over this, He wont have a bad word said about her and although its understandable at times its damn right frustrating.

AARON

He's walked out of the room and left me sitting here on my own. I don't believe his bull shit excuse that he needs some air. He tensed up as soon as my mum walked in. She does wind him up no end and he lets her do it. It doesn't take much to make Robert flip and when he does if his words get him nowhere then he goes off in a strop. I need to them to sort this out once and for all Roberts gonna be in my life and my mum needs to accept that. I don't wanna fall out with her over this but if she carries on then that's exactly what will happen. I decide i'll talk to her later. She's doesn't look in the mood and i'm not up for one of her lectures right now. She keeps comparing me and Robert to her relationship with Carl and its nothing like that. He was a complete waster and not worth her time to begin with. Roberts different and although my mum doesn't see it that way i don't need her too i just want them to be civil. 

I find him stood in the middle of the car park at the back of the pub. Hands stuffed in his pockets and looking pretty pissed off. When he acts like this its like having to look after a child. I walk over to him and snake my arms around his waist. It feels a little out of my comfort zone considering its usually Robert that makes the first move but i feel i need to this time. "Why are you standing in the middle of the car park Robert?" He turns around to face me and removes my hands from his waist replacing them round his neck. "I think im gonna stay at the B&B till i can find something more permanent. I can't deal with your mum's constant hate of me Aaron." I nod along with what he's saying distancing himself from my mum makes sense. "If that's what you want Robert then i wont stop ya." He puts his hands on my face and leans in so we're inches apart. "What i want Aaron is you writhing underneath me as i make you scream out my name over and over again." As i bite my lip unable to contain my arousal at his words our lips crash together. Tongues entwined with each other and him taking control. What we fail to see when we pull apart is someone watching our every move.

TBC???


	12. Chapter 12

DIANE

What have i just seen? I'm speechless to say the least. I was only putting the rubbish out and i got more than i bargained for, Robert was with another man. And i wish i knew who it was. His back was turned so I've got no idea. But that's not important right now, What is important is the fact Robert was with someone else. Is that the reason Chrissie threw him out? Why did he feel he couldn't turn to me? I would of listened to him without judging. He's messed up big this time and i need to talk to him about all of this. I really thought Chrissie was it for him and she'd be the one to finally tame him, maybe i'm wrong. there could be a perfectly reasonable excuse for everything either way i need to confront him about this. If he thought he could keep it a secret he shouldn't be kissing someone else in public where anyone could see them. 

When Robert appears from the back door i take the chance and tell him i need to talk to him. He looks very worried and nervous i still don't understand why he couldn't come to me but ill soon find that out.

 

ROBERT

God Aaron turns me on, I just nearly ripped his cloths on in the car park. I want him all the time it's becoming a real issue living under the same roof as him with other people here too. so i'm glad he's on board with me moving out. I will miss sleeping next to him at night though even if its only been for a short time. He makes me comfortable and relaxed, And I've never had such great sleep. Amongst other things that are great. no there amazing. Everything about Aaron Livesy is amazing. I need to shake these thoughts. I wish he was here instead of at the garage helping Debbie with something. I just wanna follow him around like a lost puppy. What the hell Robert Sugden when the fuck did you become this guy. It's him he does it to me i'm a completely different person with him its freaks me out sometimes but when it does i only have to look at him and i calm down. I've not even thought about Chrissie I've not even wanted too. I've finally found what i want in life and right now i'm on cloud nine. 

As i walk through the door before i can even make my way upstairs to Aaron's room wanting to surprise him when he gets back, Diane sees me and calls me into the back room. She looks troubled and she has a hint of suspicion about her, What have i done now? If this is about Chrissie i really don't wanna know. I don't wanna sit through a lecture about my soon to be ex wife. If this is about trying to convince me to go back to her or try and work things out i'm not gonna be happy. Its my life and although I've not really given Diane a real excuse as to why i'm here it doesn't mean she gets to meddle. Maybe i should just tell her the truth. It should come from me anyway, She's gonna flip out. I'm not sure i can do this again without Aaron by my side. Last time with Andy was hard enough let alone a little awkward, I've got no idea how Diane's gonna take this. She'll probably have a moan at me about cheating yet again. I just hope she doesn't bring my Dad up i couldn't handle that, Not right now. 

I go through and plant a smile on my face. One that Diane immediately picks up on as fake. I'm worried now she knows something she shouldn't. I can just deny everything she comes out with. Pretend i don't understand. At this point there's so many secrets i'm juggling i'm surprised i haven't dropped one of them. I sit down opposite her at the table and avoid eye contact at all costs. Aaron always says my eyes speak volumes more than my voice does. I'm starting to believe that might be true. I'm bouncing my leg up and down until she tries to get my attention. "Robert pet look at me. I need to speak to you." Alright now i'm nervous and i have to look at her it's rude not to.

I just need to get this over with as quickly and painlessly as possible. "What do you need to talk about Diane? Everything ok?" I shake my head knowing everything is clearly not ok. It's jut something to say. "Pet are you and Chrissie going to work things out?" Why are people so interested in my life. I would of used to find it flattering but now i just want people to butt the fuck out. Im just gonna tell her the truth. "Diane me and Chrissie are over." She cuts me off before i can go any further. "Is that because you're cheating on her Robert?" 

I did not see that coming. How does she know about me cheating? Does she know who i'm cheating with? Although i'm not technically cheating anymore. "What makes you say that?" I decide to test her and see if she really did witness something between me and Aaron. Or its just something that immediately everyone thinks when i get kicked out by my wife. "I saw you Robert. this afternoon Kissing another man." My eyes widen in realization. She definitely knows. "

AARON

I'm so ready for this day to be over so i can get in bed and sleep for hours. Although if Robert is still at the pub tonight there's no doubt he'l be in my room again kicking me into the early hours of the morning. I still do sleep but It does my head in, at this rate i'm gonna start bruising. Not that he'd care. I'm actually glad he's moving out if i'm honest I don't want us to live in each others pockets its not healthy and now he's basically jobless he'll probably linger around the scrapyard all day playing boss. Well trying too. So spending a little less time with him wont be a bad thing. Its ironic really at the start i'd never get enough time with him and now i cant get rid of him. How quickly things change. 

When i lock up the garage i bolt the door and double check the lock to make sure its secure. I don't even work here anymore and although i don't mind helping out it better not become a regular thing. Walking up the road to the pub the wind suddenly picks up and whistles around the tiny village. It's so quiet for this time of day as well. Normally you see the odd villager wondering around or going to the shops for essentials, Buts it eerily quiet today. Unless there all getting drunk in the pub. I shake my head and laugh to myself. I do over think the most basic of things at times. 

I get to the front of the pub and decide to go in the side door too tired to face everyone in the bar. I fish my keys out of my pocket and unlock the door closing it quietly behind me as i hear faint sounds of a conversation happening in the back room. I can hear Robert's voice talking to someone who i make out as Diane. I press my ear against the closed door and try to eavesdrop on the ever growing conversation. I know i shouldn't be listening to them but i cant prize myself away. It's like something is telling me to go in there and make my presence known. Something is definitely up and i cant take the growing suspicion inside me. I take a step back and push open the door pretending that i though i was alone. only to be met by Robert and Diane sitting at the kitchen table and by the look on Robert's face he's relived I've interrupted them.

I walk further in the room and make my way to the kitchen busying myself with making a drink. As i put the kettle on and turn around to lean against the kitchen counter waiting for it to boil i spot Robert's eyes boring into me like he wants me to try and read his mind. I shrug my shoulders in response and try desperately to understand what he's trying to vocalize without words. But i'm failing miserably at his put together attempts. Diane spots what we're doing and i instantly turn around not wanting to land Robert in any further crap then he is now.

"Aaron pet can you give us 5 minutes. I need to talk to Robert in private." I nod my head at her and make my way past Robert to the door only to be stopped when he opens his mouth. "No Aaron don't go." My brows furrow as i turn my head over my shoulder looking at him with confusion laced in my features. "It's not my place to be here Robert you've obviously got something important to talk about i'll be in the bar." He shakes his head at me before standing up and walking in my direction. Talking to me in barely a whisper i struggle to hear him. "She knows Aaron. I need you here please. I cant do this again on my own." I look directly in his eyes and i expect to see fear or anxiety not something that'll catch me off guard. "If you want me to stay Robert i will." He sighs at me in relief before returning to his seat to face a bewildered looking Diane. 

ROBERT

I silently thank Aaron before returning to my seat pulling a chair out beside me so he can sit down. When i look at Diane i see the cogs turning inside her head she looks between me and Aaron then back again before she finally speaks. "Robert, Pet why do want Aaron to stay? Does he know something you're not telling me." My heart is racing and somehow it feels worse admitting myself to Diane rather than Andy. I feel Aaron's hand squeeze my thigh under the table and i smile at him for his support. "You're right i've been cheating on my wife for months Diane. I know what you must think of me and i don't blame you." I really am surprised she still hasn't worked out the part Aaron plays in all this. "Robert you had everything with Chrissie, Why would you throw that away? I cant begin to tell you how disappointed i am in you pet."

When i glance at Aaron he's looking at her in disbelief. I know she doesn't really mean what she's saying. I get why she's disappointed in me. I'm disappointed in myself. Not for falling in love with Aaron i'll never regret that. But for cheating yet again. And not just cheating on anyone it was my wife. before i even came back here i thought she was it for me. I took vows with her the affair should of stopped there and then. I just couldn't give Aaron up. "She's not enough anymore Diane. It's not just an affair with this person anymore. I love him." I see Aaron trying to keep the ever growing smile from his face. The smile that my words put there. And i'm so happy i created something other than misery. "If you're completly sure about this man Robert than i wont stand in the way off your happiness." 

I bow my head in relief and let out a breathe i didn't know i was holding in. "It means a lot to have your support Diane i know I've not had the best track record when it comes to relationships but this one is it for me. I've never felt like this before male or female it doesn't matter anymore all that does is i love him." Aaron removes his hand from my thigh and replaces it on the table biting his lower lip as i look at him. "From the way you're talking Pet i know it must be serious. It makes no difference what so ever if its a man or a woman all that matters is you're happy. And by the grin on your face i can see you clearly are. So do i get to meet this wonderful man who has this overwhelming effect on you?" I lean in to grasp Aaron's hand and as i do he immediately takes mine. Beaming at each other as it becomes now apparent to Diane who i've been talking about. "Aaron. You've been seeing Aaron? I should of known Pet that's why you wanted him in the room." 

"I'm glad you approve Diane. I'm so relieved you know just need to tell Vic now. Can you keep it quiet for now though until things calm down with Chrissie. If Lawrence finds out right now trust me it wont be good." She stands up to pull me into a hug. "I'm so proud of you Robert. And don't worry i wont say a word." As she leaves the room walking past Aaron she stops and clings onto his arm and smiles at him, then carries on and out through to the bar. 

My arms immediatly find Aaron's waist as he pulls me into him by my neck. "See Robert you did it that wasn't so bad was it? How do you feel?" As i stare into his eyes i wonder how i ever lived without him. And why it took me so long to get here. " I'm glad she knows Aaron i'm so relieved. Thanks for being here it meant a lot to me." I pull him even closer to me and feather light kisses down his neck before my lips find his. A deep meaningful kiss that lasts longer than it needs to but speaks volumes to me, everything i need is right here in front of me and i'm never going to let it go. 

TBC?


	13. Chapter 13

AARON

Its been a few days since Robert told Diane about us. And honestly it's been the most amazing few days I've had in ages. Robert just keeps surprising me with how honest he's been and is continuing to be. I love this version of him. Don't get me wrong it's not the version i fell in love with. I fell for the Arrogant and self centered Robert but this one is amazing too. There's so many sides of his personality that are reserved purely for my eyes and i'm glad its that way. It makes me smile at how much he must really care. 

We're crammed into my single bed. well i'm crammed. Robert and his lanky limbs are occupying most of the space. He still hasn't moved out yet. i really don't know if he even will. We've gotten so close lately and i know he doesn't want to live alone but i am starting to miss my personal space and the need to shower alone. He's everywhere i turn. In my bed. At breakfast in the morning. In my shower. Although i don't mind that so much. Not that i actually do end up clean. He's even at work most days which Adam's starting to question me about. And i'm running out of things to tell him. I do want Adam to know the truth but the second i tell him about Robert and me he'll hate me for lying to him. And he'll work out the only reason ten grand was sunk into the business is because of our relationship.

After the few drinks we had earlier i thought we'd both be knocked out by now, But i'm still wide awake and Robert is just staring at me. I do find it a bit creepy when he gawps at me for no reason. It's 3 in the morning and i know what he wants. Its what he always want. The man could go for hours and never tire. I've never been with someone who has such a high sex drive. I thought it'd calm down when the sneaking around stopped. But it only makes him want it even more. It's still so weird seeing him in boyfriend mode i cant fully get used to it. Probably because deep down i never in a million years thought that we'd be together properly. 

Vic still doesn't know about Robert and me. I think he's waiting for the right time to slip it into conversation. I know she'll freak out and play little sister telling him hes messed up and not to hurt anyone but she will come around and hopefully Adam will too. Everyone so far has been amazing with this whole thing and i couldn't be prouder of Robert he proved me wrong. The only seriously worrying thing is when the White's find out. I know Chrissie will want revenge on Robert and probably me as well but i'm not going down without a fight i wot give them the chance. 

When i change position in bed fed up on being pushed against the wall i turn and face Robert. "What you thinking about Aaron you're in a world of your own." He takes his hand and runs it down the side of my body. I can still smell the alcohol on his breathe along with a hint of aftershave lingering around. 

"Nothing Robert can't sleep with you taking up most of the bed." I struggle as i try to sit up my back leaning against the headboard. Robert shuffles around before doing the same as me pulling the covers up so there resting on our laps. "You need a bigger bed. Is that the real reason Aaron? Or do you want your room back?" 

I look at him a little puzzled before i speak. "Robert i love having you here. Don't be a Muppet. It just takes some getting used to that's all, I've never really shared with anyone before." I side nudge him before he grabs hold of my hand squeezing a little to much. 

"It's a little weird for me to you know. I don't wanna invade your privacy and start annoying you. Imagine if we lived together full time". I look at him and he's got a glint in his eye. And he's smiling at me, Is he trying to tell me something? "It wouldn't be so bad would it? for starters we'd have more space. And me mum wouldn't be chewing my ear off about you every chance she gets." 

ROBERT

Have i just unknowingly asked Aaron to move in with me? It's a pretty huge step. It's not that i couldn't see myself living with him one day i just don't know if right now is the right time to be thinking about all of this. Chrissie is still my wife and I've not even thought about divorce proceedings yet. She's still in the dark about us and if she finds out i'm shacking up with my gay lover the revenge will certainly be dramatic for all involved. 

But on the other hand I wanna be with Aaron all the time though and i'm getting pretty sick of hiding our relationship i just wanna be honest for once in my life. He deserves so much better then i'm giving him. And i really don't understand why he puts up with me. I don't wanna lead him on and hurt him. He's my number one priority now and i'm gonna make sure it stays that way. "I'd love to live with you Aaron. And one day we will have our own place but right now i need to be thinking about getting a divorce from Chrissie and looking for a job." 

I look at him and he's biting his lip. He always does that when he's thinking about something. "I'm not saying right now either Robert, There's to much going on to even consider moving in together. One thing at a time yeah? Are you really planning on divorcing Chrissie?" 

"Well i'm not gonna stay married to her. I only want you Aaron and i need a clean break from her and away from that toxic family. I should really go and speak to her about it though she still thinks we might have a chance at sorting things out once we've had some time and that's the furthest thing from my mind." I re-position myself so i'm on top of Aaron. Straddling him and looking down into his eyes. "Anyway we can talk about that later. Right now i want my grease monkey." He smiles at me as i pull him down the bed so he's now lying flush underneath me.

I brush my hand across his cheek as i lean in to kiss him. A deep passionate kiss. When i come up for air i'm already so turned on and he can sense this because he's pulling at my boxers and there removed in seconds. I push him back down pinning him by his hands so he cant move and i have full control of the situation which again only makes me want him more. I can hear Aaron quietly moaning beneath me and i could listen to the sound forever and not get bored. He's pleading me to hurry up and i immediately do as he says. When he's fully naked i can see he's already hard and i position myself on top of him lining myself up after a half arsed attempt at preparing him. I slam down in full force and hardly feel the pain at all. Too busy watching the man below me unravel to care. 

After an hour or so Aaron's still cuddled up to me and I've got my arm wrapped protectively around his back. I can hear his breathing and i'm watching his chest rise and fall. I don't know where i'd be without him anymore. He means more to me then Chrissie ever did and although i might of realized a little to late i'm still glad he gave me another chance i'm done messing him around. I'm gonna go and talk to Chrissie tomorrow and ask for a divorce. There's no turning back now and even if i could looking at Aaron i know i never will. He's it for me.

TBC???


	14. Chapter 14

ROBERT

I'm sitting in the pub having lunch on my own, trying to psych myself up to go and see Chrissie. A few days ago Aaron and I decided that a divorce was for the best in order for us to move on with our relationship. I'm sick of hiding us now and I know Aaron feels the same way. He's not my dirty secret as much as he still thinks he is. I just want to walk down the road with him or have a drink in the pub without turning heads. I know Aaron's not a big fan of PDA but I want that with him. I'm a touchy Feeley kind of person and I want to show him off as mine. Not that he'd like that. But I can win him round, It never takes much with Aaron. As I down the remains of my pint I stand up and go to leave the pub, unable to put off the inevitable any longer. I don't want to upset Chrissie but I know I will. Of course I will. She has no idea what's coming and as much as I try to soften the blow its still going to hurt all the same. I just don't know if telling her the whole truth is something that's worth it. I still care for her, A part of me always will but she's not my future and in order to get through this as painlessly as possible I need to keep that firmly in my mind.

When I get outside the pub I see Aaron walking towards me with a grin on his face, What's got him so happy? It can't just be my gorgeous face. Although that could put a smile on any one's lips. When he's standing opposite me and so close I have to stop myself making a grab for his waist, I never thought I'd be this guy. Especially with another guy. "What's got you so happy Aaron? Is it seeing me?" I know I have this effect on him. One that can make him turn various shades of red in seconds. "You're so full of yourself Robert, Where you go anyway?" I look up at him so our eyes are connected and I see the crystal clear blue staring back at me. His eyes mesmerize me every time and never fail to pull me in. "I'm going to see Chrissie remember?" I say to him with a smile now on my face at the prospect of finally being free from Chrissie and that toxic family. "Do you want me to come with you? I know you Robert, If you're not pushing you probably won't end up doing it." All the while Aaron's talking to me I feel something's not right he's hiding something. "You know Aaron that actually hurt, Do you not have any faith in me at all?" He raises his hands in defeat and moves to walk past me until I catch his arm and spin him around not caring right now who sees or what it might look like. Still holding onto Aaron I run my hands up his arms as I speak. "What's wrong with you Aaron? I know you, you're not good at hiding things." The eye roll I receive as his answer confirms I was right. I know Aaron inside out and when he's acting like this I know to tread carefully. Or risk the start of an endless argument. "Nothings wrong with me Robert, I just want this over with already, Why don't you want me to come with you?" I move out of his space and pull him round the corner all of a sudden wanting to regain a little privacy away from prying eyes and ears. Aaron looks annoyed his hands clenching into fists glaring at me with confusion. "It's not that I don't want you there, I need to do this on my own. You do trust me right Aaron?" At my last words I look up and see him lower his head to the ground like he's trying to hide something or he's lost for words. I'm staring at him and waiting Until the realization dawns on me, hitting me like a ton of bricks. I'm glad for the wall behind me as I fall back hard against it stuffing my hands in my pockets and trying to understand what he's not saying out loud. Aaron tries to reach for my face, but I shrug him away in anger, unable to feel his touch on my skin.

AARON

"I'm sorry Robert." He looks gobsmacked almost like I've broken his heart. I feel awful for what I've just made him think, but I can't go on like this any longer. The feeling has been eating away at me for weeks and I can't stand by anymore and let it consume my entire life. I can't keep lying to him or myself, it's not fair to either of us. If I'm honest I don't trust him, I don't think I ever really will and that though kills me knowing how much we've been through together and how deeply in love with him I am. The lying and cheating has only fueled my feelings. All I think about is my life with him, But in those thoughts we never end up happy we just ruin each others lives until we can no longer stand the sight of each other. And I don't want that. I could never knowingly want to hate Robert. I love him and I want him, but what's love without trust? "I can't pretend anymore Robert. I don't trust you. I don't know if I ever will." Again, I look at him to try and gauge a reaction, but his face has become motionless and he's closed up. I've really hurt him and I'm not used to being the one in this relationship to do that. I go to reach for him, but before I can he see's what I'm doing and walks away from me and up the road to the exit of the village. I know I can't leave it like this, we need to talk about it. So I run after him, repeatedly shouting his name till I catch him up. I can see Edna startled by my shouting and a few other villagers stopping to witness what's going on between us, but all I care about right now is Robert.

He's stopped walking, but as I go to reach for him, he again pushes me away. I know now how hurt he really is by the fact he won't even let me touch him. "Robert please we need to talk about this." As he looks at me for the first time since he stormed off I see his jaw clenching and the sheer devastation etched across his face. That look alone makes me want to take back everything I've said. I never wanted to hurt him like this. "What's left to say Aaron? You don't trust me and that's that." He shouts a little louder than I expected and it gets the onlookers attention it doesn't bother Robert though it only seems to rile him up even more. " We still need to talk about it though. What happens now?" I know I'm failing to get through to him and I'm wondering why did I bring this up now? "Nothing happens now Aaron you made it pretty clear to me that you don't trust me We go nowhere from here, After everything we've been through you decide to tell me this now just as I was going to ask my wife for a divorce." The shouting has turned into low screams and he's become angry. I push him up the road with force, but he's having none of it. "Don't push me Aaron just leave me alone." When we're at a further enough distance so no one can see us I let go of him and turn around to regain my composure. "You know I trust you with my life Aaron. I understand you might have doubts I even get that it can't be easy for you to trust anyone, But what I don't get is why now? Why tell me this now? Just as we're about to start a new life together." I turn back around and his inches away from me, even though we're arguing I still feel the intense heat between us, It's always there. The sexual tension never fades away. "I can't lie to you anymore Robert, What did you want me to do? carry on pretending forever? Can we just go back to mine and talk properly about this." I'm swaying on my feet and it reminds me of Christmas day all over again. Although I'd take that situation over this one right now. Robert looks genuinely torn, Maybe I should just tell him to forget us and go back to his wife. It's not too late for him to start again with Chrissie. But I don't want to let him go. Everything we've been through to get to this point, Surely We can get through this I just don't know if I can.

ROBERT

"I can't be near you right now Aaron, I don't even want to look at you. I've given up everything for you, I've lost everything and now I'm gonna lose you". It's become too real for me and I just went away from him. I feel myself welling up and I don't want to show that emotion in front of him. I don't want to lose him, I just want him to take it all back. I want Aaron to give me a cuddle and pretend this never happened. I feel distant and closed off. Aaron's just staring at me. And I'm looking right through him, I don't want to look into his eyes, I can't force myself to do it. I never thought Aaron would be the one to hurt me. Not like this. I always do the hurting not on purpose, but it still somehow happens. The roles have reversed and I don't like it one bit. "I can't look at him anymore, I've got the rushing feelings of hatred for the person I'm supposed to love most in the world. I know it's a cliche, but He's broke my heart. I'm so confused at him I just need to be alone. I can't process any of this with his eyes boring into me. "Don't follow me Aaron, I need some space from you," I move away and carry on walking up the road, When I turn my head I'm relieved he's finally got the picture and he's stopped following me. I don't know where I'm going or even what I'm doing, All I know is I need to be on my own.

20 minutes later and I find myself standing outside home farm, This was my original destination, but am I going to stick to my original plan? If Aaron and I do break up, Not telling Chrissie about everything right now would go in my favour. I'd have her to fall back on should I need to. She knows nothing apart from the robbery and I could worm my way back in and erase every memory Aaron and I ever had. Because if I lose him I can't lose Chrissie as well. I can't be on my own, I'm not good at being alone. I shake my head at my thoughts and I stare up at the lavish mansion wondering what to do. This is all I've ever wanted, What way do I go? Try to make my marriage work once and for all. Or make Aaron see he can trust me and dedicate myself to proving it to him. In my head, I know what's right and wrong, I probably always have. But my hearts telling me a different story.

Aaron or Chrissie? Chrissie or Aaron? A life of money and respect. A beautiful wife and the acceptance I've always craved? Or a life of happiness and understanding, A life full of love and honesty. With the one person who's ever really got me?

TBC?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update.   
> Hope you enjoy reading the chapter :)   
> Find me on Tumblr: missme033.tumblr.com


	15. Chapter 15

ROBERT

I've been sitting outside for the past hour or so just staring into oblivion and trying to take in what Aaron just told me, I walked away from home farm without looking back. I don’t want Chrissie, how could I even contemplate I did? My life was once there with Chrissie but not anymore. I couldn’t bring myself to walk up to the house and knock on the door. I want nothing more than to pretend this day never happened id happily restart this day if it meant things might have a chance at turning out differently. I'm sitting on a wall just outside the village looking over the rolling hills that seem to never end. It's so picturesque out here and the silence is more than welcome. I'm swinging my legs back and forth just to distract myself, I want to go back to Aaron and have it out with him But my feet are failing me right now and I know it’s best to agree with my body. I would just end up doing something I’ll regret later otherwise. The sun is slowly disappearing behind the clouds and it looks like it might rain any minute. It's all I need to be stuck in the rain in my best clothes. I also don’t want to ruin my hair. I decide I need to start walking back to the pub before the heavens open up and drown me. 

Walking along the road that leads back to the village its deserted, no one in sight for miles. It feels like I'm the only person around and it’s a little surreal. I can also feel raindrops every now and then, looking up to the sky thick dark clouds greet me, The wind is also picking up and whistling around, I feel there’s a storm coming. And I don’t just mean the weather. I'm relieved when I see the pub in sight just as the rain begins to pour. I shield my hair with my coat and make a run for it. Beating the worst, as I get to the back door It starts to thunder and becomes eerily dark. I dig into my pocket in search for my key as I hear another rumble. Opening the door to be greeted by Aaron standing in front of me. 

“Robert you look like a drowned rat, Where have you been all this time?” I shove past him and into the back room trying to ignore his attempts at talking to me. I'm really not in the mood to be hassled now, not after he’s just insulted me. I just want peace and quiet, by the way Aaron is looking at me though I'm sure I’ll get anything but. He’s glaring in my direction as I make my way to the kitchen and flick the kettle on. Aaron tries talking again, my attempt at blocking him out seems to be failing as I hear his last words and become angry yet again. 

“You can’t keep ignoring me Robert stop acting like a spoilt brat and talk to me. I want to sort this out. You can’t just run away at the first sign of trouble. Were you this infuriating with Chrissie?” I want to swing for Aaron now not caring about the consequences. I act now and think later, that’s me all over it always will be. 

“What's that supposed to mean Aaron?” More anger in my voice than I probably should have allowed. I abandon the task of making a coffee suddenly deciding by the end of this conversation I'm going to need something much stronger than caffeine to dull my thoughts. When I reach the table Aaron has come to stand in front of me with one hand placed firmly on his hip and the other leaning against the kitchen counter. I sigh as I sit down. Ready for what he has to say to me next. 

“Why did you just disappear Robert?” I look up in shock at him, like he needs an answer to his question.  
“Maybe because I was annoyed at you Aaron. I can't help how I feel, you told me you didn’t trust me, what was I supposed to do? Just pretend I didn’t hear it?” 

AARON

He came through the door just as I’m about to go out looking for him. I don’t like the thought of him walking around after the argument we just had. Robert could do anything when he’s in a mood and to hell with the consequences. He probably went to home farm and made it up with his wife. I can’t really blame him right now if that’s what has happened though. I still feel a pang of jealousy at the thought of them two together. He’s mine and I shouldn’t have let things escalate this far without talking to him sooner. I was the guilty party here for a change and I don’t like the feeling one bit. When I look at Robert he looks drained, like someone has kicked him repeatedly in the stomach. That someone being me, I don’t know what to do. I need to know if he went to see Chrissie though. I do not want to look desperate, but I can’t hold the suspense in any longer. I look away from him and settle my eyes on the opposite side of the room as I open my mouth to talk again. 

“Did you go and see Chrissie?” I wanted to say more, but jealously is not an attractive quality Robert has seen enough of that pour off me in the past. 

“What does it matter if I did or not Aaron? This is over, right?” He won’t look at me either. I need to make this right. Although I don’t trust him I realize I don’t want to lose him. When I sit down at the table I move my hand so it’s placed on top of Robert’s sighing in relief when he doesn’t pull away. That’s a good sign at least. 

“Trust is not something that comes easy to me Robert.” I gently squeeze his hand as I continue talking. “I’m sorry it came out the way it did. I know deep down I don’t want to lose you or what we have. If that’s not want you want any more than ill understand. She’s still your wife after all.” I look at Robert and he’s looking back at me in confusion. 

“What are you talking about Aaron? I didn’t go to see Chrissie, This is what I want” He leans across the table and runs his hand down my cheek. “I want you Aaron.” 

At Roberts’s last words I stand up and walk towards him. Sitting down on his lap so I’m straddling him. I look into his eyes and see something unusual. There’s fear along with something else I can’t quite put my finger on. I can feel Roberts hand grazing down my back in circular motions. And in this moment I realize I can’t ever lose him again. I can learn to trust him. Although he doesn’t make it easy sometimes. I’m as much to blame for this as he is. He’s willing to give everything up for me, everything he’s always wanted and thought he needed to be accepted. I can’t give up on him now, not when we’re so close. 

“I’m sorry Robert.” I say it in barely a whisper. When he goes to stand up I’m relieved when he grabs my hand and pulls me over to the sofa. Sitting down, we're inches apart and our knees are touching. Robert’s leg bouncing up and down before I put my hand on top of it to calm him. I’m stopped before I even open my mouth when he interrupts me holding up his hand. “Just listen to me Aaron. I want to be enough for you. But if you can’t trust me what kind of future have we got?” 

“Just be patient with me, Robert. I will learn to trust you. It’s just this is so new to me. Having you all to myself is something I thought I’d never get. It scares me knowing it’s just us now. I'm scared I won’t be enough for you.” 

ROBERT

How can Aaron feel like that and I have no idea about it? I’m selfish and too wrapped up in myself to not realize this sooner. He’s got no need to worry about being enough for me. It was never enough with Chrissie not in the end. I see where his train of thought is coming from. But I’m the one who secretly worries, I'm not enough for Aaron. I’ll eventually screw this up like I do everything else in my life and be left with nothing. I don’t want that with Aaron I don’t want to be alone. 

I move even closer than we are now and take his face in my hands. Noticing the tears appearing in his eyes. “You’re enough Aaron. You always have been.” A tear escapes Aaron’s eye, but before it has the chance to slip down his cheek I gently brush it away. 

“I don’t want to get hurt again Robert.” It suddenly clicks in my head. Like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle has just been found and put into its rightful place. Aaron doesn’t trust me because he thinks ill hurt him again. And sitting here now I’m wondering how I didn’t come to this conclusion a lot earlier. I don’t blame him for thinking like that. After all, we’re where we are today because of lying and cheating. My lying and cheating. I can’t put the blame on Aaron. He just took all the pain and heartbreak. What I did to him over and over again. Thinking back to how messed up this all once was I realized how lucky I really am to have this amazing guy sitting in front of me. Everything I’ve ever said or done to Aaron and he still eventually forgave me. My mistakes were my own doing, but I dragged him in with me. I don’t deserve him. 

“I won’t hurt you Aaron. I promise, I can’t say we won’t have arguments and disagree on things because it's us and we will. But I won't let it tear us apart. I'm not taking you for granted anymore, I know what I’ve got with you is worth so much more than any fancy lifestyle or money could buy. I won't go back there again. Where you are Aaron is where I want to be.”

When I’ve finished talking I see a smile creep upon Aaron’s features. I make a silent promise to myself that every day I’ll try my best to keep that smile on his face. Looking at that smile makes everything worthwhile for me. I wouldn’t change what happened for the world. Because it got me where I was always supposed to be, here with the one person I’ve ever truly loved. 

She may be my wife. But Aaron Livesy will forever be my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your lovely comments and kudos :)  
> I may leave this here. I'm not to sure. If i do continue I only plan on doing a couple more chapters.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy reading.  
> Will update if anyone liked it. :)


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